Love Never Fails

Hey friends.

I had been staring at this blank space for almost 20 minutes and I am still at a loss as to how to start this post.

Then I thought of a question that was asked of me at church yesterday, when the topic of all that has happened in this country the past week and a half came up; "Amanda, what do you think?"

Wow.

What DO I think?

I've been blown away as to all that has gone on in American in almost two weeks.

It's overwhelming to see it all over the news and social media; just seeing opinion after opinion, hate followed by more hate and country on edge with major tension in the air.

So what do think??

I think I'm sad.

I'm sad with how we treat each other, I'm sad with how much hate we show each other. This is not the world I ever imagined my children growing up in. 

After reading A LOT of blog posts (specifically Christian) about the Supreme Court's decision regarding gay marriages, I promised myself to not post another post about "now we just have to show love."
Because it's not that easy to feel it, as it is to say it.

Because some disagree.

Some don't approve and some are saddened by this decision because of what THEY believe. 

And you know what?

That's OK!

Yes I said it. It's completely ok to disagree with someone...

...and still NOT show hate.

It's ok to debate with somebody and still NOT show hate. Because the moment we (I'm talking to you, my fellow Christians) start to show the opposite of what Jesus really looks like, we lose the magnitude of our cause and beliefs.

Yes I know what the bible says about homosexuality...

but I also know what it says about judgement and love.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen."

*1 John 4:20

Hey guys..it's right there! ^^ Right there in the book we so love, in the book we so believe in and in the book that we use WAY TOO OFTEN to hide behind and spew our own hate.

So yes, this is another post about love because that is what we are called to do by the One who loved us first. He had no exceptions and neither should we. 

It's hard. I'm not kidding. When I first heard the news of the shooting in Charleston, I felt anger. When I saw others fighting over the Confederate flag, I felt anger. And when the Supreme Court announced their decision to legalize gay marriage, I felt anger. BUT I, almost, immediately dropped to my knees (literally, I did!) and asked Jesus for an immediate change of heart; to let this be my chance to showcase Him through me. And, oh my, has He delivered on that request. 

I have so many opinions about a lot that goes on in this country.

And I completely believe that it is totally ok to express those opinions in a manner that shows respect and love because at the end of the day we need to all remember we are ALL children of God, we ALL are underserving of grace but it's in the end that His grace that unites us. (Thanks for the thought Pastor P!!)

You sin. I sin. We all sin. To Jesus, NO sin is greater than the other. Sin is sin and regardless of what it is we do to sin, Jesus STILL loves us! ALL of us! 

Christians, this is our chance, our opportunity to show love that Jesus places in all of us regardless if we agree with somebody decisions or lifestyle. 

Do I sound like a broken record?

Good, because I want it to sink in. Because the hate HAS TO STOP! We take complete advantage of each other and the fact that we live in the greatest country on earth! 

I challenge you all to go outside your comfort zone this week. Do something nice for someone that you normally wouldn't do. Show love to someone you normally wouldn't show love to. Ask Jesus to change the direction of your heart from hate and judgement to love! 

Love WILL always overcome because Christ will always overcome! 

Any questions, comments, or just want to chat?

gfmamaj@gmail.com :)

Much, much love to each of you!

My Little Black Suit

Hey there friends!
I know, I know it's been a LOOONG time since I've posted a new post! Life has been extremely busy and that's a good thing!
Eric and I are finally becoming home owners and will close on a our first home, sometime in July!
WOOHOO! 
PRAISE!!
We are super excited and can't wait for this new chapter in our lives! God's timing has been more than perfect with this entire situation. I've learned to appreciate His silence because it's then I can only imagine what He's  putting into place behind the scenes :)

SO..
today I did something bold, courageous and a little intimidating!
I bought..
a bathing suit.
To most of you this may not seem like a big deal but to me, it's HUGE!
I haven't worn a bathing suit since 2013.
Ok I did once when I was pregnant but it was at my in-laws house, around family only and I practically jumped into my towel the second I got out of the pool.
Well, Makenna and I have a play date at the lake on Friday. It's going to be a high of 99º and there was no way I'd make it without getting into the water..not even with just a tank top and shorts.
So I decided it was time to stop hiding this body that motherhood has given me; to stop acting so ashamed.
I braved the heat today and went to Ross with Makenna I was surprised that I had picked out 8 bathing suits to try. I was feeling pretty down and disappointed trying them all on until I tried on THE one! It felt like I was shopping for my wedding dress! It fits so well and I am super happy with it. I can't wait to actually sport it on Friday with all my mommy friends! It's makes me feel how my old little black dress used to make me feel..
WONDERFUL!

But here's the thing..
I'm going to be totally honest, these past two weeks I have been down right miserable; about my hair (cutters remorse), my body and just the way I look in general. My (sweet, very patience and loving) husband has heard me whine about how I look, practically since I gave birth. I know a lot of moms feel this way, but for me, it's been so hard to stare in the mirror and look at something (my body) that is totally unrecognizable! I've been, mistakingly, comparing my body to other moms and wondering why my body didn't bounce back quite as fast as theirs did. I was body-shaming nobody but..myself!
It was only just last week, I cried myself to sleep not just because of how I looked but how I was feeling. Tired doesn't even begin to describe it, even if I get 8+ hours of sleep; my skin has been breaking out like a girl going through puberty and, oh my, I've just been feeling super sluggish. My eating habits have just become so out of control and I was beating myself up over it.
The last conversation I had with my husband about it, he wasn't..well..as gentle about as he has been. He was totally honest with me (he's one of my best accountability partners!) and said that if I don't like how I look and don't feel great about how I eat..then to do something about it!
How simple right??
So many things were on my mind when I went to sleep that night. Eric was right..why wasn't I doing anything about it? I kept making reasons not to try and feel my best: Pregnancy gave me a serious sweet tooth and I swear I crave more food breastfeeding then I did when I was pregnant! I have not even one athletic bone in my body and I would much rather sing for hours than go work out.
SO MANY EXCUSES!

I was praying to Jesus until I fell asleep that night. I wanted Him to give me a peace and a will to do better when it came to my body. I wanted Him to convict me if I needed convicting.
All that came through Him allowing me to tap into my own common sense and that it all comes down to this:
I CREATED LIFE.
I GAVE BIRTH TO A LITTLE HUMAN.
I HOUSED A TINY CREATURE IN MY BELLY FOR 9 (10) MONTHS!
My body may NEVER be the same again!
But it's ok!
The story that my body tells is amazing. Every stretch mark is a reminder of what it did. Every inch of loose skin is a reminder that my belly was Makenna's comfort, home and where God decided to bless me and placed her there to make me a mother.

The more I look at exercising or getting into shape as a way to lose weight and just look good, the more I don't want to do it. I just stare at the numbers on my scale instead of paying attention to how I feel.
I was so scared to go bathing suit shopping today and for what??
Because of what I may look like?
To who??
I have a husband who thinks I am beautiful and a daughter that got to hang out inside my belly for almost a year!
Honest time here: it's easy to preach/feel this when I'm on a high of how I looked today! It's so hard to think this every time I look in the mirror. My plan of action is to think back to today; of how I felt looking in the mirror at me wearing that bathing suit. It may not be an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini but I felt GOOD!! And for right now, even if just for today, that counts :)
I've made a promise to go about getting into shape in a whole new different direction..
•to eat right
•stay active with things I like to do (going for walks, running or riding my bike!) 
•compliment myself on a regular basis 
•be comfortable in a body that has done miraculous things! 

We all go through it..the body shaming! To anyone that may be struggling with what they look like, in whatever way you may be struggling..you are BEAUTIFUL!
No really!!!!
YOU ARE!
My prayer today is that women all over the world can have a moment today, tomorrow and every day after where they can look at themselves and feel awesome! That you can all have your "little black suit" moment!

So much love to you all and I promise to post more than once a month ;)