I Love My Church!

Howdy friends!

Hoping that this post is finding you all well :)

The Jansons have been struggling with the cooties for almost two weeks now. The weather being cold and rainy doesn't help, although I LOVE a good snuggle on the couch :) We could most definitely use some prayers regarding our health :)   

So today at church we celebrated something pretty cool!

We celebrated 6 years, as a campus, in Columbia!

Eric and I are celebrating that it's been 2 years since we first started attending NewSpring!

WOW!! Time really does fly. 

The absolute BEST part of celebrating 6 years as a campus is that, in that frame, we have seen 8,423 salvations in Columbia. 

OH MY WORD!!!!

The sweetest part about that is how Eric and I are a part of that 8,423.

It was two months after we started attending NewSpring that we attended Ownership class. We were so hooked on this church that were excited to dive right in. (And also get some free Chic-Fil-A for dinner, haha!)

Little did we know that night in November that we would ask Jesus into our lives, side my side. I remember that night like it was yesterday.

The impact that this church has had, not only on my life, but my husbands life and now my daughter's life is remarkable! 

So in honor of 6 years AND 8,423 salvations, this post is about the top 5 (out of many!) reasons why I LOVE MY CHURCH!

Here we go:

1) We believe growing people change:

I was a mess when I first started attending NewSpring. I liked drinking way too much, I cursed like a sailor and my overall life making decision skills were just not up to par. I was so apprehensive to start attending yet another church that would look down upon me because I didn't have my life together. NewSpring embraced it. I have leaders and friends from church that are constantly telling me it's ok to not be ok. They encourage me to grow in my walk with Jesus, in my marriage and as a mother .They remind that my story is far from being over and that growing people ALWAYS change! 

2) Community:

I was so very alone when I first started attending church, as was Eric. The "friends" we had in our life at the time were no good. After being saved and letting some of those friendships go, life became lonely. I am SO thankful for a church that believes we can't do life alone. I have met some of my very dear and close friends through serving, small group and just being an attendee. Life with community and others to do life with is so much sweeter.

3) I am taught how to follow Jesus step by step:

Overwhelmed couldn't even describe how I felt the day after I met Jesus. "Now what??" were two words that pounded in my head over and over. How thankful I am that I belong to a church that doesn't leave me in the dark but provides wisdom about where to do from here. I'm taught that there is ALWAYS a next step in our walk with Jesus and I am spiritually fed each and every sermon I listen to. 

4) KidSpring:

I am SO SO SO thankful for KidSpring. I am in love with the idea that my daughter has a safe place to go to where she can learn about Jesus on HER level. At first, I found it odd that kids, under a certain age, couldn't attend the regular service. But after learning what KidSpring is all about, I couldn't be happier that Makenna is being taught the gospel, even at 13 months old. I applaud every staff member and volunteer that puts in the time and energy to make KidSpring what it is :)

5) We believe FOUND people FIND people:

I LOVE what NewSpring is after; to reach 100,000 in the state of SC. To show others the good news that is Jesus Christ. I love, love, love seeing others asking Jesus into their lives. It reminds how I first felt when I was saved and how freeing it was. We, as a church, KNOW how miraculous, amazing, supernatural, loving and graceful our God is. We are on a mission to reach those far from God!

Jesus has and keeps using NewSpring to reach me in ways I never knew I could be reached. NewSpring has truly been used to save my life and to help us grow as a family. I love watching how Jesus changes our hearts. I love watching my husband, week after week, do what he does best in ministering to people. I love picking my daughter up from KidSpring, knowing that she is growing up in an environment where she can learn to follow Him. I absolutely love my church :)

Any questions about NewSpring? Want to attend or watch online?

Check out www.newspring.cc

Happy Sunday all!

Much love :) 

A Little Transparency

Hey friends!

It has been such a while since I've posted!

Life has been busy and filled with so much! We have settled into our new home more nicely than I could have ever planned. Our house has never felt more like, well, home! The two years it took to finally get in here has been more than worth it. I love making memories in this home. Good is SO good!

Also, our sweet baby, Makenna, turned one on August 14th and life with a toddler has been, well, exhausting but absolutely amazing :) She is learning and growing so much every day and I love being able to be her mommy. 

So, jumping right into it, I am going to be totally honest. 

I had an entirely different post planned, typed and ready to publish. Normally after I am done writing the draft for a post and have proofed it, I automatically publish it without any second thought of the topic. But this time was so different. My iPad kept messing up and it literally would not post. 

You bet your bottom dollar I took that as a sign from God to rethink what I wanted to post about and have be seen by the public eye.

My deleted post was all about disappointment and all the things that have been getting me down lately. After my iPad kept glitching, all it would let me do is go back to the draft so I reread the post and it really hit: "oh my gosh, how WHINY do I sound?! I can't post this! Is this really the Jesus I want people to see in me?!!"

It kept me up till after midnight, last night, thinking about how much I look over everything I've ever been blessed with. I've focused on the negative for so long that it's starting to become normal. When did I start developing this glass half empty attitude?? This is NOT me!

I jumped out of bed, lit a candle in the living room and wrote out, in my journal, all of the disappointments I was going to post about. Under each of them, I wrote the positives. 

I wrote how God can, is or will take these disappointments and turn them into something beautiful.

A few examples:

Disappointed by friends?

 Lately, I've been focusing on the friendships that have faded away, the feeling of being left out or forgotten. I needed to write this out in front of me and really pray over the many friends and family that Jesus has blessed me with. That He can always continue to work in my heart to be a good friend or daughter, wife or sister. I have many people in my life and in my little family's life that are so beautiful inside and out. I am more than thankful for these people. 

Disappointed by what's on the news?

Use that as fuel! Fuel to get out and be proactive. What I see on the news should give me, a follower of Jesus, more incentive to get out and spread the Good News. To lead others from death to life. Instead of filling my mind and heart up with fear because of what is happening in this world, I need to take a moment, look up and thank Jesus for the life He has given me. How blessed I am to live so free and GOOD! To have a hot shower and dinner every.single.day. Ok, so the dog may pee on the floor or the guy in traffic who cut me off, gave me the finger. Things could be SO MUCH WORSE.

Lastly..

These past few months (ok, maybe more than a few) I have been thinking of my old life back in NY. This was a place I was born and raised in for almost 20 years. I up and left, never looking back and have only returned 3 times since 2009. This was one of the last disappointments I wrote about last night.

I miss it. I really do! 

I watch shows or movies based out of NYC and my heart literally hurts. I think of how life would've been if we had moved us to NY. What would my marriage, with Eric, be like? Would Makenna even be here with us? It even hurts my heart now to write about it.

But I thought about our life here in South Carolina. I think about how much Eric and I have grown up here. 

I think about NewSpring.

How ABSOLUTELY grateful am I for this church?! 

What would life have been life if we moved to NY, never have attending NewSpring??

Jesus has used this church over and over and over and over (you get the point) to bring us closer to Him. Goodness, it's where Eric and I were both saved, almost TWO years ago, side by side!

I think of KidSpring and how my daughter goes to a safe environment each week and learns about Jesus on her level. Where volunteers take time to nurture and pray over her every week. 

Would we have found that in NY?

My roots are there; memories that will never be forgotten and people who may have only been in my life for a season, but have made a difference. 

But we are meant to be here, in South Carolina. This is where Jesus needs us to be. This is where He, currently, has us living out His plan. Meditating on that alone overwhelms my heart with joy. 

I absolutely love where God has my little family right now. I love where He has me.

I love looking back at harder times and what I learned from that situation. I love looking at a list of "disappointments" and how He can point out the good that can be found in everything.  

Doesn't mean more disappointments won't arrive at my door. The point isn't that, being a follower of Jesus means hard times won't come..it means when they do come, I can handle them with His strength, grace and love!

The best is yet to come my friends..the best is yet to come :) 

MUCH love! 

All I need is You

How can I truely be happy?

Will a new car make me happy?
Well, yes.

Will buying a home make me happy?
Of course!

Will having more money make me happy?
Yes it would!

Honesty time..
I have been so caught up in my "wants" lately. Wanting a home, more money, a newer car, nicer clothes, a smaller waistline, etc.
My want and to do list are growing bigger as my time and relationship with Jesus is growing smaller.

Last night at my small group we talked about what our top 3 priorities were. I listed mine as:
1) Family
2) New house
3) Jesus

WHOA! After I read my priorities out loud, in my head I questioned myself why I put our new home (and even family) before Jesus. Sure, I said Him first to my small group ladies but on my piece of paper I wrote Him third.
I've been wanting this home for so long that I've forgotten where my true happiness lies...and it's not in material things. Even a beautiful home.
I've been so focused on my marriage, Makenna and family (which there is nothing wrong with at all) but have completely forgotten to spend and set aside time for the One who is my rock. My foundation!
I'm so worried about checking social media, my email and worrying about my to do's when I first wake up that I haven't started to my day with Jesus and in prayer in a long time.
No wonder I'm so on edge all the time!!
I've had all these "things" distracting me that have completely made me lose focus on spending time with God-my true happiness! It's so easy to fall into this trap but can be harder to get out.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
-Romans 15:13

I want to Jesus to be the ONLY thing that can complete me and the only thing that can truely fill me with peace and joy! Everything else should just be an added blessing and gift from Him, which they are!
It's a decision and choice that I need to make every single day that Jesus is going to be at the very, very top of my priority list! He's worth that much (and more)!!!
Spending more time in His word and working to form even more of a deep relationship Him is a great place to start :)
I am so thankful to have a God that never stops chasing me. He is the only one who will ever be able to give me an endless supply of love and grace.

Some food for thought! Happy Wednesday :)

4 things in 4 years

Marriage has taught me a lot.
Whether I've liked it or not, marriage has changed me.
I mean, duh!
That's usually what's expected when two people makes vows for forever.
And in the case of my marriage, two more opposite people couldn't have been paired together.
Eric and I have been married for almost 4 years. (It'll be 4 years next month!!!)
Life with him as my partner has been frustrating. annoying, humbling and nothing short of absolutely, positively amazing!
So in an early honor of almost 4 years with the love of my life, here are the 4 major things (in no specific order and trust me there's more than 4) that marriage has taught me.

1) Jesus really DOES need to be in the center
SERIOUSLY! Ok so some kind of order..but this is the most important! Eric and I have seen what marriage is like without Him as the center (and w/out Him in general) more than we have seen our marriage with Him as the center and let me tell you..Jesus being at the center of our marriage makes it better than I could have imagined. The Lord uses Eric as a vessel to reach me every.single.day. I love watching us grow closer in this way!

2) Intimacy is key
Kids, cover your ears and look away. Haha, not but really this is SO true. And I have no shame in talking about something so natural! This is another part of our marriage where we've seen opposite sides of the spectrum. Meaning: there have been dry spells and there have been not. God created sex for man and wife to really enjoy and spend a intimate, special time with one another. Lack of this can and has affected us. This aspect of our relationship has been pushed way up to the top of the priority list.

3) Communication is more than important
It's what can make or break a marriage! Without communication, what is there? Eric and I learned even before we married of how much talking to one another is SO important! It was a few weeks before we were married; Eric and I were in a huge argument and it just happened to be while my parents were visiting. They caught on fast and literally made us sit down, face each other, and talk. We haven't been able to hush up since then, haha!

4) Surrounding yourself with positive people (and couples) DOES matter
Eric and I don't come from great friendships when we first got together and when we were first married. It wasn't until we became parents-to-be that we really started to let go of the negative energy that seemed latched onto us and our marriage. Being around marriages and relationships that encourage us (and that we see encourage each other) is super important and something we had to learn the hard way. For me personally, it's hard to be around other women that talk nothing but negatively about their husbands. It had a big affect on me for a while!



I can think of SO many things that marriage has taught me in almost 4 years. I've learned how Eric needs to be loved and vice versa. When I say Eric is my best friend, I mean Eric is my BEST friend. He's the one person I can tell every single thing there is about me or something that's going on. My love for him grows every day and I can't wait to see what the next 4, or 40 years brings us!
Marriage is amazing and I am so thankful for how it's developing me as a person.



Anything to add? Let's chat: gfmamaj@gmail.com :)
Much looooove!

                                         

Hey Lonely Mama

Hey friends!
So there is something that has been on my heart that I would love to get out there.

Motherhood has been so fantastic.
So beautiful, so humbling, so sweet and
so lonely.
Weird describing word huh?

Now I love being a stay-at-home mama.
I am so unbelievably blessed to have a husband that works so hard during the week so that he's able to provide for his family. I am so proud of him and thankful that I am blessed to stay home and raise Makenna. I am also blessed to have my parents so close to me to help out with Makenna when I need a second to myself.
But there's something that stay-at-home mama's don't want to talk about or don't want to admit in fear of seeming ungrateful...it's this sense of crushing loneliness that comes over our lives like a wave.
I've realized that motherhood can be so lonely.

I had so many plans for Makenna and I before she was born. We would grow up as close as my mom and I did, have long & deep conversations about faith and Jesus (we still have a little bit to go with that), we would experience so many firsts together and... we would make a ton of mommy and baby friends. 
I had pictured in my head of all the fun things I wanted to do with my future mommy friends: play dates all the time, library trips, day trips, duo family getaways.. I was certain going into motherhood that it would be a time in my life where I would make friends that I would consider soul sisters! I had always dreamed of having friends like that.
But now? Now that Makenna is almost 11 months old, I look around when I'm at the mall, the park or even at my church and I get sad (even a little jealous) at the close knit groups of parents that there are. Talking and laughing with each other, their kids playing around like they are siblings.

This is not me saying I have no friends, because I do! But life is busy and we all have different schedules. There are just not enough hours in the day sometimes for play dates, or wine whining to each other. Money can be tight for a lot of us to take that duo family vaca I long for. I am so grateful for the handful of mama (and non mama) friends I can count on but sometimes it's just not enough; I want more.
Selfish?
Sure!
Honest?
Brutally.
On a side note, to have great friends, you must be a great friend and I've been asking Jesus to help my heart understand and act out on this.

I'm sure this is just a funk or a phase; something I'm bound to move past.
I am trying to cherish this time as much as I humanly can. This time where Makenna constantly needs me, my attention and my love because I will never have these moments with her again.
But..
If you're a lonely mama reading this, just know you're not alone and it's OK to feel this way.
This can just be a difficult time in our life to make new friends and sometimes keep them. Sometimes I feel like making new friends is harder than dating!!
Feeling lonely in a crowded room is not uncommon and I understand it.
I hope and pray by reading this post you know that there is somebody else out there feeling the same way you do and know, this too, shall pass.

So much to you all <3

Love Never Fails

Hey friends.

I had been staring at this blank space for almost 20 minutes and I am still at a loss as to how to start this post.

Then I thought of a question that was asked of me at church yesterday, when the topic of all that has happened in this country the past week and a half came up; "Amanda, what do you think?"

Wow.

What DO I think?

I've been blown away as to all that has gone on in American in almost two weeks.

It's overwhelming to see it all over the news and social media; just seeing opinion after opinion, hate followed by more hate and country on edge with major tension in the air.

So what do think??

I think I'm sad.

I'm sad with how we treat each other, I'm sad with how much hate we show each other. This is not the world I ever imagined my children growing up in. 

After reading A LOT of blog posts (specifically Christian) about the Supreme Court's decision regarding gay marriages, I promised myself to not post another post about "now we just have to show love."
Because it's not that easy to feel it, as it is to say it.

Because some disagree.

Some don't approve and some are saddened by this decision because of what THEY believe. 

And you know what?

That's OK!

Yes I said it. It's completely ok to disagree with someone...

...and still NOT show hate.

It's ok to debate with somebody and still NOT show hate. Because the moment we (I'm talking to you, my fellow Christians) start to show the opposite of what Jesus really looks like, we lose the magnitude of our cause and beliefs.

Yes I know what the bible says about homosexuality...

but I also know what it says about judgement and love.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen."

*1 John 4:20

Hey guys..it's right there! ^^ Right there in the book we so love, in the book we so believe in and in the book that we use WAY TOO OFTEN to hide behind and spew our own hate.

So yes, this is another post about love because that is what we are called to do by the One who loved us first. He had no exceptions and neither should we. 

It's hard. I'm not kidding. When I first heard the news of the shooting in Charleston, I felt anger. When I saw others fighting over the Confederate flag, I felt anger. And when the Supreme Court announced their decision to legalize gay marriage, I felt anger. BUT I, almost, immediately dropped to my knees (literally, I did!) and asked Jesus for an immediate change of heart; to let this be my chance to showcase Him through me. And, oh my, has He delivered on that request. 

I have so many opinions about a lot that goes on in this country.

And I completely believe that it is totally ok to express those opinions in a manner that shows respect and love because at the end of the day we need to all remember we are ALL children of God, we ALL are underserving of grace but it's in the end that His grace that unites us. (Thanks for the thought Pastor P!!)

You sin. I sin. We all sin. To Jesus, NO sin is greater than the other. Sin is sin and regardless of what it is we do to sin, Jesus STILL loves us! ALL of us! 

Christians, this is our chance, our opportunity to show love that Jesus places in all of us regardless if we agree with somebody decisions or lifestyle. 

Do I sound like a broken record?

Good, because I want it to sink in. Because the hate HAS TO STOP! We take complete advantage of each other and the fact that we live in the greatest country on earth! 

I challenge you all to go outside your comfort zone this week. Do something nice for someone that you normally wouldn't do. Show love to someone you normally wouldn't show love to. Ask Jesus to change the direction of your heart from hate and judgement to love! 

Love WILL always overcome because Christ will always overcome! 

Any questions, comments, or just want to chat?

gfmamaj@gmail.com :)

Much, much love to each of you!

My Little Black Suit

Hey there friends!
I know, I know it's been a LOOONG time since I've posted a new post! Life has been extremely busy and that's a good thing!
Eric and I are finally becoming home owners and will close on a our first home, sometime in July!
WOOHOO! 
PRAISE!!
We are super excited and can't wait for this new chapter in our lives! God's timing has been more than perfect with this entire situation. I've learned to appreciate His silence because it's then I can only imagine what He's  putting into place behind the scenes :)

SO..
today I did something bold, courageous and a little intimidating!
I bought..
a bathing suit.
To most of you this may not seem like a big deal but to me, it's HUGE!
I haven't worn a bathing suit since 2013.
Ok I did once when I was pregnant but it was at my in-laws house, around family only and I practically jumped into my towel the second I got out of the pool.
Well, Makenna and I have a play date at the lake on Friday. It's going to be a high of 99º and there was no way I'd make it without getting into the water..not even with just a tank top and shorts.
So I decided it was time to stop hiding this body that motherhood has given me; to stop acting so ashamed.
I braved the heat today and went to Ross with Makenna I was surprised that I had picked out 8 bathing suits to try. I was feeling pretty down and disappointed trying them all on until I tried on THE one! It felt like I was shopping for my wedding dress! It fits so well and I am super happy with it. I can't wait to actually sport it on Friday with all my mommy friends! It's makes me feel how my old little black dress used to make me feel..
WONDERFUL!

But here's the thing..
I'm going to be totally honest, these past two weeks I have been down right miserable; about my hair (cutters remorse), my body and just the way I look in general. My (sweet, very patience and loving) husband has heard me whine about how I look, practically since I gave birth. I know a lot of moms feel this way, but for me, it's been so hard to stare in the mirror and look at something (my body) that is totally unrecognizable! I've been, mistakingly, comparing my body to other moms and wondering why my body didn't bounce back quite as fast as theirs did. I was body-shaming nobody but..myself!
It was only just last week, I cried myself to sleep not just because of how I looked but how I was feeling. Tired doesn't even begin to describe it, even if I get 8+ hours of sleep; my skin has been breaking out like a girl going through puberty and, oh my, I've just been feeling super sluggish. My eating habits have just become so out of control and I was beating myself up over it.
The last conversation I had with my husband about it, he wasn't..well..as gentle about as he has been. He was totally honest with me (he's one of my best accountability partners!) and said that if I don't like how I look and don't feel great about how I eat..then to do something about it!
How simple right??
So many things were on my mind when I went to sleep that night. Eric was right..why wasn't I doing anything about it? I kept making reasons not to try and feel my best: Pregnancy gave me a serious sweet tooth and I swear I crave more food breastfeeding then I did when I was pregnant! I have not even one athletic bone in my body and I would much rather sing for hours than go work out.
SO MANY EXCUSES!

I was praying to Jesus until I fell asleep that night. I wanted Him to give me a peace and a will to do better when it came to my body. I wanted Him to convict me if I needed convicting.
All that came through Him allowing me to tap into my own common sense and that it all comes down to this:
I CREATED LIFE.
I GAVE BIRTH TO A LITTLE HUMAN.
I HOUSED A TINY CREATURE IN MY BELLY FOR 9 (10) MONTHS!
My body may NEVER be the same again!
But it's ok!
The story that my body tells is amazing. Every stretch mark is a reminder of what it did. Every inch of loose skin is a reminder that my belly was Makenna's comfort, home and where God decided to bless me and placed her there to make me a mother.

The more I look at exercising or getting into shape as a way to lose weight and just look good, the more I don't want to do it. I just stare at the numbers on my scale instead of paying attention to how I feel.
I was so scared to go bathing suit shopping today and for what??
Because of what I may look like?
To who??
I have a husband who thinks I am beautiful and a daughter that got to hang out inside my belly for almost a year!
Honest time here: it's easy to preach/feel this when I'm on a high of how I looked today! It's so hard to think this every time I look in the mirror. My plan of action is to think back to today; of how I felt looking in the mirror at me wearing that bathing suit. It may not be an eensy weensy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini but I felt GOOD!! And for right now, even if just for today, that counts :)
I've made a promise to go about getting into shape in a whole new different direction..
•to eat right
•stay active with things I like to do (going for walks, running or riding my bike!) 
•compliment myself on a regular basis 
•be comfortable in a body that has done miraculous things! 

We all go through it..the body shaming! To anyone that may be struggling with what they look like, in whatever way you may be struggling..you are BEAUTIFUL!
No really!!!!
YOU ARE!
My prayer today is that women all over the world can have a moment today, tomorrow and every day after where they can look at themselves and feel awesome! That you can all have your "little black suit" moment!

So much love to you all and I promise to post more than once a month ;)

Cheers To 25!

Hey all! Hope you had a great start to your week!
I'll be honest ours started off rough but I trust The Lord to make a quick turnaround and this morning has already been better :)
So! My 25th birthday is Wednesday!
As a child my parents always made sure I had a great birthday! Sometimes my birthday celebration would last all week! I would have a birthday party in class (this was more in elementary school), then a birthday party at home with friends and then celebrate with my family. I am super grateful how my parents raised me to make me feel so special and still go to great lengths to make sure I feel so loved on my birthday. I plan to shower Makenna with the same love and enthusiasm on her birthdays!
Every year, as May approached, I would always look forward to celebrating my birthday.
Except this year.
Except for 25.
A quarter of a century.
Half way to 30. 
My mid-20's.
I know some of you reading this are probably thinking "Oh my, stop whining! 25 is not old."
Yes, I know this :) God willing, I still have a looooooong way to go with so many more life experiences to go come.
But 25 scares me. When I'm alone and really have time to think, or a hear an old familiar song or even the way the wind blows sometimes brings back memories.
Time is flying by and it really feels like just yesterday I was going into middle school. Then before I knew it I became a senior in high school. It even feels like just yesterday I was meeting Eric and we were falling in love. Now we are the parents to a 9 month old and have a 4 year anniversary coming up.
WHOA!!
I wasn't much into celebrating this year and even still just want Wednesday to come and go.
But as I was praying myself to sleep last night, I prayed that Jesus would change my perspective on a few things and this included my birthday. That He'd help me look at the positives and rid of the bitter, nostalgic feeling in my gut. And since He knows I'm very much a list person...
first thing this morning, I made a list, in my journal, of 5 of the many great things I want to accomplish and focus on as a 25 year old and I'd love to share with all of you:

1) Grow spiritually
This is so important. I have a heart that aches and craves for ministry; to give and receive it. I am so grateful that Jesus has made my calling for ministry so crystal clear and this year I pray that He uses me as a vessel in every way possible. I pray that He destroys my heart for others and grows me into the leader I know I'm called to be. I want to grow more in scripture and really lead others to the cross. I know that Jesus has so much more in store for my life then I give Him credit for. He knows where I am going and when I'm going there. I can only imagine how this next year will be with Him always leading the way. I just need to trust Him and trust His plan!

2) Go hiking
This may be random but, to me, it's not. I have been getting so into nature and I LOVE the idea of hiking! South Carolina is so absolutely beautiful and I want to take full advantage of everything He's created. Now I don't mean a little trail that circles around some lake, I mean going to a mountain and hiking a trail or going to a local reserve. The trails could be for beginners and I won't mind. I still want to accomplish that! Any tips would be much appreciated :)

3) Get fit
I want to get fit for two simple reasons: to be healthy and for Makenna. To be an example for her of what taking care of your body means and how much it means to our Creator! I would love to be strong and feel good, not just look good! This has been a try and fail for the past 9 months but I am tired of the excuses. Only I can help myself in this department and really want to use this summer to help myself out! I need to get all the junk out of the house and focus on eating right. Hiking, walking/running or riding a bike are exercises I actually like to do and I feel that's a great start! I want 25 to be my best year yet and this totally includes my physical health!

4) Buy a house
And we are SO close! House hunting has been frustrating and a little discouraging but I cant even imagine what great home The Lord has in store for us. Years down the road we will be happy we didn't rush into this and really took the time to find what we wanted and to listen to where we are being called to go. There's something about making this big decision/purchase with my husband that has such meaning to me. I cannot wait to watch our children grow and create memories in a home we can call our own.

5) Become more of a Proverbs 31 Wife
My husband is my best friend, hands down. The way he leads me and our little family is so precious. He's constantly growing more into the man of God I know he wants to be and can be. I am so head over heels in love with Eric and I know that the best is only yet to come in our marriage. To have him as my partner has been the sweetest.
It's never been made more clear, lately, that our marriage is the true foundation of this family. I hope to make more time for us (day dates, date nights, family outings!) so that we can continue to grow in our marriage! I long to be lead more by him and to also be his backbone. My prayer to Jesus is that He can grow me into being the kind of wife described in Proverbs 31. (Go read it!)


You guys, no birthday has to be scary, whether we are celebrating 25, 40 or even 85! Every year we get older is a year to thank Jesus for being alive. A birthday is a chance to celebrate all that is to come and all that has happened.
So cheers to 25! Here's to a year of new experiences and celebrations.

Thoughts, comments, conversation?
gfmamaj@gmail.com


Much love! 

What I would tell my new, mama self!

Being a new mama is tough! 
Getting adjusted to a new sleep schedule, recoving from giving birth, catering to every single need of this tiny human, getting your chest used breastfeeding/pumping, and so many more adjusments!
Before giving birth to Makenna, I had so many misconcieved notions of what motherhood was really going to be life. After hours on google and spending so much time talking to other mama, I thought I was SO prepared. I thought mother hood was going to be something I can easily transition into...
WRONG! 
While I have suprised myself these past, almost, 9 months as to how much I adore and love motherhood..those first fews day, actually WEEKS, were nothing less than just rough.
SO!
In honor of Sunday being Mothers Day, this post is all about the top 5 things I wish my new, mama self had known!
Here we go:

1) Do not get caught up in all the "stuff." 
Motherhood is seriously such a huge marketing scam.  You have all these different companies advertising their stuff for babies that makes you feel you just HAVE to have it! Electric thermoter? CHECK! A $900 swing? CHECK! 500 stuffed bears and other cute little animals? CHECK! That pretty, fancy, frilly daiper holder thingy that holds all the diapers? CHECK!
NO!! I've learned that having a newborn does not require a lot of "stuff" and that less is actually more. Looking back on it now, I'm almost thankful we brought Makenna home to a 5th wheel so that we had the excuse of limited space! Makenna did (and still does) indeed have more than she needs but not in a ridiculous amount.

2) You're not going to bounce back right away after giving birth.
I always thought that having a C-section is what would have been the biggest healing process after giving birth. I never thought a VB (vaginal birth) would have left me in the condition it did! After Makenna was born, she went into the NICU. I rememeber having to go down there every 2 hours to nurse her and my body was so worn and tired that I was unable to even stand up to change a diaper. I couldn't sit, could barely lay down or turn over in my bed and the nurses put such fear into my head of when I would finally go number 2! I give so much credit to my body for doing what it did to deliver our sweet baby and wish I gave it that credit then. I remember being so frustrated and impatient that my body wouln't let me do anything! One thing that I can advise to new moms is that we all need different amount of times to heal. Don't look at other mamas and think "oh she healed so much faster." Give yourself and body a break AND a good pat on the back :)

3) Breastfeeding doesn't make you Mom of the Year.
When I was pregnant I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed my daughter. My heart was more than set on it and I gave myself no other choice. Well, when Makenna was in NICU, she had a giant cast on her arm that held in the IV and it made it very difficult to nurse her with that in the way. The nurses were always running tests and checking on her that it messed with our feeding schedule. Makenna had no interest to latch on because she was already too upset. I started to pump milk right away and have been pumping, every day, ever since then! There were a few times in the hosptial that we had to feed her formula. It crushed me and I was way too upset. I wish I knew how important it was that my baby was just FED. While pumping as much as I do does make me feel a little bit like a champ, it DOES NOT make me better than any other mama out there! I wish I would have relaxed when it came to breastmilk and pumping. Makenna has been getting nothing but my milk since we came home from the hositpal and for that I'm happy but it wouldn't have been the end of the world if dthat wasn't the outcome.

4) It's OK to have time to yourself.
I am SO thankful to have my parents right up the road. They are so good with Makenna and really pay attention and respect how Eric and I like things done with our daughter. I definetly utilize their closeness to have time to myself. Whether it be to just head to the grocery store or serve at church for a few hours during the week, it is super important to recharge and have moments to myself. Mentally and spiritually. When Makenna was really little and I needed some time to myself or even for a date night with my husband, I felt super guilty leaving Makenna. I would totally tell my new, mom self that it's ok to take some time to yourself and especially to date your husband. We, as mamas, are still humans (shocker!!) and need to take some time to show some love to myself.

5) Mom shaming is NOT COOL!!!!
This one. Ok, now look, we are all guilty of being judgy toward other mamas, myself included. But I am SO sick and tired of seeing the mama bullying that goes on about anything and everything: how we handle discipline, sleep habits, breastfeeding or formula, organic or non organic, homemade pureed baby food or store bought, how fast your baby is developing, working moms VS SAHM and OH MY the list goes on and on. It needs to STOP! We are all a community. No seriously we are!! A community of women who want nothing more than to see our children happy, healthy and successful. We need to stop showing condemnation and start showing compassion. When Makenna was first born, I spent a lot of time comparing. Why?! For what?! I am me and Makenna is her and we are both different than every single person on this planet. While one parenting mathod may work for our family, doesn't mean that it will work for any other family.
We all love our kids and while we don't all need to be eachothers best friends, we NEED, we MUST, respect the fact that we are all different and are going to parent different ways. We must show eachother love and kindness.
I still compare sometimes. But only sometimes because I've learned that there is no point in seeing what's on the other side of the fence. I need to spend my time and energy focusing on my side.
The bullying needs to stop and the mom shaming needs to stop.

Well there ya go! Have something to add or share? Let me know!
I hope all the mama's out there reading this have a GREAT Mother's Day. I hope you are made to feel important and loved because you are. God chose you to be a mama for a reason.
For those that are hurting at the thought of this day coming up, I'm here. Always!
gfmamaj@gmail.com
Much, much love!!

Dear Sweet, Infertile Friend

Dear Infertile Friend,
First let me say:
You are NOT alone!
My infertility journey was frustrating, scary, lonely, confusing but most importantly..humbling. 
My sweet, sweet husband did the absolute best he could with being supportive. We knew the problem was me, we just couldn't figure out why.
I wrote a post called The Story of Our Miracle Baby that I encourage you to read. Our story may not be the same but the pain still runs deep.
Let me say that there is nothing wrong with you. You were not made broken because our Creator loves you way too much to have made you that way.
I want you to know that, with Mothers Day coming up, that I am thinking of you, praying for you, and hurting with you. That day for me was a huge smack of a reminder of what I didn't have. I know how hard it's going to be and I know that no words are going to make it better. But know that my gift to you that day is my ear that is willing to listen as long as you need me to.
I want you to know that I am here. Here to listen, to get angry with you and to cry with you.
I understand that you look at others with envy and I do not judge when you get irritable being around families with children.
I was the same way.
Infertility takes away so much: a normal sex life, your money, your patience, and your sanity.
I kept track of temps, marked days on the calendar and googled every pinge or twinge of a symptom I felt. I spent more than my fair share of time and energy peeing on sticks and getting the same, negative result.
I understand that what worked for me will not work for you, being as we are all crafted differently.
What I NEED you to understand is that the Creator of the universe will not leave you out in the cold. He will meet you where you are. He will comfort you, guide you and bless you the more you trust Him with this situation.
I can promise you that Jesus will take your tears and pain and turn this into progress. The two years of infertility issues we went through were so that I could finally hand over the control I had on my life and give it all to Him. He wants us to take painful and just plain awful situations and use them to draw closer to Him. His purpose for my pain is to reach out to others, like you, with open arms and tell you that I understand.
I GET IT! 
I found GRACE through our infertility. I found compassion and I found mercy through Jesus.
I promise you that He has been working behind the scenes to conduct a marvelous plan for all of this. It may not be what we have in mind but I promise that it will be better than we could have ever planned for ourselves!
Hang in there.
Reach out to others going through the same thing.
Reach out to others that have been where you are and can help.
If I could go back and tell myself anything it would be to say: that it's ok to be sad. It's ok to feel bitter. It's ok to have a glass of wine and forget a night of taking a prenatal vitamin. Find support and reach out to others. Don't beat myself up and don't ever, ever feel like something is wrong with me.

I adore you sweet friend. I am here for you.
MUCH, MUCH LOVE <3

If you or somebody know is struggling with infertility, here are a couple of link I want to share as valuable resources:
National Infertility Awareness Week 
Daily Strength
Fertility Lifelines
and of course: gfmamaj@gmail.com

My top To Do's for this summer!

Hey guys!

I am SO super excited for this summer. Eric and I have been making plans, here and there, and I can't wait for all them! 

Eric is originally from South Carolina and since working in a field that requires him to travel all over the state, he's seen quite a bit. I, on the other hand, have not. We have been living here since October 2012 and I've only seen a fraction of what this beautiful state has to offer! I've been doing research on some family and budget friendly things to see and do this spring/summer and I've finally narrowed down a list. Here's what I am most looking forward to doing this summer:

1) Visit the Anderson campus of NewSpring church. For the past year and a half, on Sundays, I have been watching, my pastor, Perry Noble, live and would LOVE to go to watch him preach in person and maybe get the chance to meet him! I suggested to Eric for us to try and do this the weekend before my birthday (May 20th by the way, haha!) and he seemed fond of the idea. We would be able to check out the town the night before and I am super excited to put Makenna into KidSpring there! 

2) Go see a movie at The Big Mo. That name just makes it sound like a great time, doesn't it?! This is a drive-in movie theatre that I've been told about so many times. A night under the stars in the warm summer air, surrounded by popcorn and blankets. I LOVE IT!

3) Camping trip! I've never been camping. I mean, besides somebody's backyard, haha. I've heard that Edisto beach (in SC) is great for camping and hope that's something we can do this spring before it gets too hot! I'm not quite sure how I would be in a camping environment. Makenna will probably do better than me, haha! But I'm certain if there's plenty of food and an air mattress, I'll be just fine :) Any tips for first time campers?? Please share!!

4) CAROWINDS! I mean come on! I've lived in SC for two and half years and have yet to visit this place! When I was little, I wasn't a huge roller coaster fan and honestly, I have such a huge phobia of heights. But the older I get, roller coasters just seem to be an exception! This isn't a great place for Makenna to go to right now, so we would definitely make this a day or group date! Plus they have gluten free chicken tenders and french fries there! YES!!

5) I'm choosing Folly Beach over Myrtle Beach for this year. Folly Beach is located in Charleston County and from the looks of it, seems so historical; which I am super into! Eric travels into Charleston so often for work and has been longing to bring me there to visit. I feel like going to Folly Beach might be a little easier on our wallets since Myrtle Beach is super touristy. I definitely would love to get some beach time in this summer and I hope my research proves me right with this one!

6) Makenna's first birthday party! OH MY GOSH! I have already started to plan her party (picking through themes, location, budget, etc.) and have LOVED it! I am trying to be the mom that embraces and gets excited seeing her baby grow up instead of mourning the time passing. Planning her birthday is helping me do just that! I have a few themes to run by Eric and once we can both agree (that should be interesting!) then the party planning shall officially commence!!

7) This may not happen this spring or summer, but I would love, love, love to take a trip to Gatlinburg, TN this fall :) I've been there twice before and loved each time! I've never been the biggest nature fan but there is nothing like being up in the mountains and having a moment to just..think, reflect and enjoy the tremendous amount of beauty surrounding you. Makenna would be walking by fall and would be able to enjoy some of the things they have for kids! Plus places like this are always cheaper to do in an off season!

8) I look forward to doing the little things there are to do around where we are: fishing, hiking, museums, walking trails, BBQ's with family and friendships, bonfires and shopping ;)

I am so blessed and thankful to have such a fun, wonderful and sweet family to be able to grow and do things with! The friendships that I've made so far this year have been an amazing blessing and I am happy to have them to plan with as well! These next few months have been much anticipated and The Lord has so many plans and changes in our future that I am so excited for. I look forward to taking the time to step aside from all the changes and enjoy our time as a family.
I would love to hear what plans you have for the upcoming months! Any vacations? Just relaxing at home? Have suggestions for me to add to the list? Any day trip ideas? Let me know :) gfmamaj@gmail.com
I pray that whatever it is you are doing in the warmer weather that Jesus brings you many blessings and endless joy!
Much love!!

We took a nice walk to the park with Daddy today and had so much fun on the slide :) I adore these two!!

#beyougoals

A few weeks ago, my sweet friend Morgan, (check her out over at Yellow Door Diaries) sent our small group an email with a link to a video made by Sadie Robertson. If haven't seen the video yet, you can watch it here.
In the video, Sadie talks about the latest hashtag trend that is all over social media.
For those who do not know what hashtag is or means (you'd be surprised!), dictionary.com defines it as:

noun

1.

(on social-networking websites) a word or phrasepreceded by a hash mark (#), used within amessage to identify a keyword or topic of interestand facilitate a search for it:

The latest trend has been all about commenting on the picture or status of somebody that posts about their life and hash-tagging "#___goals"

I've seen this range from "#thighgapgoals", "#beautygoals", "#friendshipgoals", or the most popular: "#relationshipgoals"

As Sadie says it's all about people comparing themselves to others and wanting to reach a goal to have what another person has or be like another person. She goes deep into what her own personal issues with jealousy and other flaws that she has. Sadie mentions how she wants to see a world filled with confidence and to have all of us strive to be the best "YOU" that we can be.

I couldn't agree with this video more. I give her SO much credit for putting herself out there to speak about what GOD laid on her heart. How she spoke to confidently about being content with what God gives YOU and not looking to others for that contentment. 

I know that this "goal" thing is a just a form of joking (maybe I just don't have a sense of humor?) around but is it really? 

Let's face it, we live in a world where jealously can rear it's ugly head into us at any moment. We've all looked on the other side of the fence and wondered what it would be like if we could have what that person has, or look like that person does.

I'm SO super guilty of this. I am no where near the size 2 I used to be. I struggled with (and come on, honestly, I still sometimes do) looking at other women who were in good shape and super skinny with such jealously. I couldn't just recognize how God made them beautiful, just like He did with me. I focused on how I didn't even come close to having a waist that tiny. Instead of looking at my body and realizing that I was blessed enough to house a tiny human for 9 months!

Another example? My marriage. I see husbands that shower their wives with flowers and jewelry and sometimes felt animosity toward my husband because I didn't get that from him. I forgot about what he DOES give me. How laughter, emotional support and physical love works so much better in our marriage then material things. It's always been that way and I couldn't be more happy.
Like mentioned in the video, this doesn't mean to not have goals! This doesn't mean that you can't look up to and admire other people! I love to model my marriage and how I parent my daughter after my parents. They are such an inspiring example of strength, love and patience to me. But while looking up to them is great, I keep in mind that we are all different people. Eric and I do what's best for ourselves and our family at the end of the day.
I hope this is all making sense :)

Sadie uses 1 Samuel 16:17 as a reference in the video:
 7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but theLord looks at the heart.”

YES! This verse is SO beautiful! How nice would it be to look at others the way The Lord looks at us? To look at one another's heart instead of their looks? To stop comparing and start appreciating!! Appreciating what we have AND what others have. It's hard, I know, (this is why we are no where near how perfect Jesus is!) but we NEED to find contentment not in what this world will give us, but with what God gives us.
Why are we struggling so hard to be like everyone else when our Creator spent so much time crafting and putting us together?
I am not kidding when I say WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!! 
Seriously! We all have something we are good at and can contribute to this world.
So what if you don't have a thigh gap?! (Join the club, haha!) So what if your neighbor is driving a Bentley and you're still driving your Honda Civic from high school?
So what if her eyebrows are thick and shaped to perfection and you can barely see the hairs on yours?
So what if your friends husbands buys her flowers and diamond earrings and yours takes you to Chic-Fil-A for a date? (Totally prefer Chic-Fil-A!!!)
There is contentment in JESUS! There is beauty found in JESUS! There is peace in JESUS! There is peace in knowing how much He loves and cares for us how we are, how we look and will always come to where we are RIGHT NOW! There is peace in knowing that He gives and promises us FAR more then anything this world can ever offer.

As Sadie said in the video, I, as well, know that God might not be a thing for some people but I want to challenge you as well to try something new. See what this Jesus guy is all about because I PROMISE He does not give disappointment like this world can give.
I think each one of you are so special and beautiful.
If there is anything you'd like to touch on that I haven't in this post, or just want to chat about, you know where to find me: gfmamaj@gmail.com
MUCH, MUCH LOVE!

P.S. Lets create some new hashtags eh?
#beyourselfgoals
#beorigionalgoals
#beyougoals
Lets start to use social media to inspire others and tell them they are great! Throw somebody a compliment and see how it can change their day!

Called to be BOLD

We ALL have fears about something.
Whether it be spiders (seriously!), clowns, heights, animals, etc.
Sometimes it's more serious things like dying, cancer, divorce, love. (Yes I said love)
Over the past few years I could describe myself as coming a bit more "wimpy." I know that sounds a little harsh but it's nothing but truth. I have allowed the hurt of my past completely take over how bold and courageous I used to be with everything; music, new adventures but most importantly, people.
I have almost been scared to make friends; to allow people in or go out and be that social butterfly I once was. I have a fear of rejection and of others not liking me. A fear of letting someone too close, they take what they need from me and then leave. I was that way when I met Eric and I'm still struggling with it with other people.
This once outgoing and friendly girl is now shy and meek.
I absolutely love being a follower of Jesus. I love how I have a forever best friend. Someone that finds a way to hold me accountable, to guide me and, well, having somebody die for you is a pretty big deal so questioning His loyalty just isn't something I do anymore. I just love how He reaches me right where I am, without missing a beat.
Where am I going with this?
Last month, I was reading a devotion and it was focused around this verse:

Such a GREAT verse.

I started to think hard about MY boldness; if my fears were getting in the way of what I wanted to do with my life. If my fears were keeping me from friendships, dreams, or just going out and reaching the lost like He asks me to do. I was getting frustrated because I knew I wasn't being strong and courageous like I wanted to. 

Just then, on Pandora, Courageous by Casting Crowns came on. 

We were made to be courageous

We were made to lead the way

We could be the generation

That finally breaks the chains

We were made to be courageous

We were made to be courageous

We were warriors on the front lines

Standing, unafraid

But now we're watchers on the sidelines

While our families slip away

I love this song. I've heard it before and knew what the meaning of the song was but never directly applied it to my life. Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it. It put a spark in my heart. A spark that only He could've ignited. 

I know that I don't need to be afraid of anything. I can do anything with His strength and courage that He gives me.

Since that moment, it has been made clear that I'm being called into ministry. I have applied and been accepted into a college to keep furthering my education. I ran a 5K, started to volunteer in a few different areas at church and I even made some new mommy friends :)

We are given only a short amount of borrowed time here on this earth. I want to make the most out of it and the gifts that Jesus has given me. I can't do that while hiding in my house, away from the world because of a fear of rejection or getting hurt.

Look at what Jesus went through while trying to teach a message. He was hated on, ridiculed, beaten and then faced death. All so that I can continue his teachings and love on as many people as I can.

Do you have any fears? Anything you feel is holding you back from living your life? 

He calls us to be bold for a reason, and we NEED to know that He has our back! 

So go and be bold. Go out for that job you were thinking about. or go for hike up a mountain you've been wanting to check out or even go to a circus and take a picture with a clown. Haha!

Whatever it may be, I know you can do it and He knows too! He'll let you know if you're not going down the right path.

Thoughts, comments, questions?

gfmamaj@gmail.com

Much love to you!

P.S. Check out Courageous by Casting Crowns:

Home IS where the heart is

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:11-13 

Eric and I have been longing to be home owners. We love the idea of making such a huge purchase, that we have worked for, together. Of starting to plant roots for our family and just make a house our own. It has been a long and frustrating road. One minute I feel peace about the situation and the next, I'm crying into a pillow because of where we are living now.

But the more I pray over this verse, the more I look at the big picture, the more I talk to The Lord about this situation and the more that I TRUST His timing...the more I am

CONTENT.

I was thinking about our housing situation last night (again!) while giving my daughter a bath. I watched her play, laugh and splash in her little bath tub, chewing on her rubby duckie. I thought to myself how blessed I am to have a safe, warm and happy place for my daughter to do something as simple as take a bath. She has a small but BEAUTIFUL nursery that was painted and decorated with love and by family. My little family was able to take a walk with each other, in the sunshine, and feed ducks at a near by pond. Eric and I have a comfy and safe place to lay our head down at night when we go to sleep.

For the past two years, since we started trying to buy a home, I have pouted and have been so bitter over not having a home without even thinking of what home REALLY is. 

A home is a place filled with the most sweetest God-given love. A place where my daughter can learn and develop, as well as, Eric and I! A place where we can make memories and share laughs, tears and prayer. I've lost sight of what a home is supposed to be and got caught up in the material aspect of it.

I know that Jesus has our future in the palm of His hands and who better right?! It's so hard to loosen the grips of control on some situations but keeping the simple fact in my head that He ONLY wants good things for our life, makes trusting Him easier.

A house is coming; our plans of landscaping, decorating and hosting holidays is coming. But in the mean time we have a HOME and that is way more important.

Learning to be content with what I have is learning not to look at the lives of others with envy. To look at others, who may have what you dream of , and be pleased that God is fulfilling His plan for them as well! Plus, why would God trust ME with whats's next if I can't be content with all that He's blessed me with already?

I strive to use my "waiting time" to grow closer to God and lean on Him, which at the end of the day, is what He really wants.

I am proud of how Eric and I, with much help, have made our situation be the best it can be!

Are you waiting for something? A new season in life? A new job? Maybe a relationship? I can promise you that you are no where near waiting alone. Share your thoughts, hopes and dreams with me any time you'd like! gfmamaj@gmail.com

Remember His plan > ours. Always! 

Much love!

-Check out my recipes page that has two new yummy and gluten free recipes that I added! :)

Here are some pictures from our little family walk. I'm always thankful for the time we have together as a family because there are some weeks it's far and few :)

Makenna loves being outside!

I love this open view of the sun setting that I am so blessed to see almost every evening :)

Makenna and her daddy feeding the ducks!