Getting adjusted to a new sleep schedule, recoving from giving birth, catering to every single need of this tiny human, getting your chest used breastfeeding/pumping, and so many more adjusments!
Before giving birth to Makenna, I had so many misconcieved notions of what motherhood was really going to be life. After hours on google and spending so much time talking to other mama, I thought I was SO prepared. I thought mother hood was going to be something I can easily transition into...
WRONG!
While I have suprised myself these past, almost, 9 months as to how much I adore and love motherhood..those first fews day, actually WEEKS, were nothing less than just rough.
SO!
In honor of Sunday being Mothers Day, this post is all about the top 5 things I wish my new, mama self had known!
Here we go:
1) Do not get caught up in all the "stuff."
Motherhood is seriously such a huge marketing scam. You have all these different companies advertising their stuff for babies that makes you feel you just HAVE to have it! Electric thermoter? CHECK! A $900 swing? CHECK! 500 stuffed bears and other cute little animals? CHECK! That pretty, fancy, frilly daiper holder thingy that holds all the diapers? CHECK!
NO!! I've learned that having a newborn does not require a lot of "stuff" and that less is actually more. Looking back on it now, I'm almost thankful we brought Makenna home to a 5th wheel so that we had the excuse of limited space! Makenna did (and still does) indeed have more than she needs but not in a ridiculous amount.
2) You're not going to bounce back right away after giving birth.
I always thought that having a C-section is what would have been the biggest healing process after giving birth. I never thought a VB (vaginal birth) would have left me in the condition it did! After Makenna was born, she went into the NICU. I rememeber having to go down there every 2 hours to nurse her and my body was so worn and tired that I was unable to even stand up to change a diaper. I couldn't sit, could barely lay down or turn over in my bed and the nurses put such fear into my head of when I would finally go number 2! I give so much credit to my body for doing what it did to deliver our sweet baby and wish I gave it that credit then. I remember being so frustrated and impatient that my body wouln't let me do anything! One thing that I can advise to new moms is that we all need different amount of times to heal. Don't look at other mamas and think "oh she healed so much faster." Give yourself and body a break AND a good pat on the back :)
3) Breastfeeding doesn't make you Mom of the Year.
When I was pregnant I wanted nothing more than to breastfeed my daughter. My heart was more than set on it and I gave myself no other choice. Well, when Makenna was in NICU, she had a giant cast on her arm that held in the IV and it made it very difficult to nurse her with that in the way. The nurses were always running tests and checking on her that it messed with our feeding schedule. Makenna had no interest to latch on because she was already too upset. I started to pump milk right away and have been pumping, every day, ever since then! There were a few times in the hosptial that we had to feed her formula. It crushed me and I was way too upset. I wish I knew how important it was that my baby was just FED. While pumping as much as I do does make me feel a little bit like a champ, it DOES NOT make me better than any other mama out there! I wish I would have relaxed when it came to breastmilk and pumping. Makenna has been getting nothing but my milk since we came home from the hositpal and for that I'm happy but it wouldn't have been the end of the world if dthat wasn't the outcome.
4) It's OK to have time to yourself.
I am SO thankful to have my parents right up the road. They are so good with Makenna and really pay attention and respect how Eric and I like things done with our daughter. I definetly utilize their closeness to have time to myself. Whether it be to just head to the grocery store or serve at church for a few hours during the week, it is super important to recharge and have moments to myself. Mentally and spiritually. When Makenna was really little and I needed some time to myself or even for a date night with my husband, I felt super guilty leaving Makenna. I would totally tell my new, mom self that it's ok to take some time to yourself and especially to date your husband. We, as mamas, are still humans (shocker!!) and need to take some time to show some love to myself.
5) Mom shaming is NOT COOL!!!!
This one. Ok, now look, we are all guilty of being judgy toward other mamas, myself included. But I am SO sick and tired of seeing the mama bullying that goes on about anything and everything: how we handle discipline, sleep habits, breastfeeding or formula, organic or non organic, homemade pureed baby food or store bought, how fast your baby is developing, working moms VS SAHM and OH MY the list goes on and on. It needs to STOP! We are all a community. No seriously we are!! A community of women who want nothing more than to see our children happy, healthy and successful. We need to stop showing condemnation and start showing compassion. When Makenna was first born, I spent a lot of time comparing. Why?! For what?! I am me and Makenna is her and we are both different than every single person on this planet. While one parenting mathod may work for our family, doesn't mean that it will work for any other family.
We all love our kids and while we don't all need to be eachothers best friends, we NEED, we MUST, respect the fact that we are all different and are going to parent different ways. We must show eachother love and kindness.
I still compare sometimes. But only sometimes because I've learned that there is no point in seeing what's on the other side of the fence. I need to spend my time and energy focusing on my side.
The bullying needs to stop and the mom shaming needs to stop.
Well there ya go! Have something to add or share? Let me know!
I hope all the mama's out there reading this have a GREAT Mother's Day. I hope you are made to feel important and loved because you are. God chose you to be a mama for a reason.
For those that are hurting at the thought of this day coming up, I'm here. Always!
gfmamaj@gmail.com
Much, much love!!
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