First let me say:
You are NOT alone!
My infertility journey was frustrating, scary, lonely, confusing but most importantly..humbling.
My sweet, sweet husband did the absolute best he could with being supportive. We knew the problem was me, we just couldn't figure out why.
I wrote a post called The Story of Our Miracle Baby that I encourage you to read. Our story may not be the same but the pain still runs deep.
Let me say that there is nothing wrong with you. You were not made broken because our Creator loves you way too much to have made you that way.
I want you to know that, with Mothers Day coming up, that I am thinking of you, praying for you, and hurting with you. That day for me was a huge smack of a reminder of what I didn't have. I know how hard it's going to be and I know that no words are going to make it better. But know that my gift to you that day is my ear that is willing to listen as long as you need me to.
I want you to know that I am here. Here to listen, to get angry with you and to cry with you.
I understand that you look at others with envy and I do not judge when you get irritable being around families with children.
I was the same way.
Infertility takes away so much: a normal sex life, your money, your patience, and your sanity.
I kept track of temps, marked days on the calendar and googled every pinge or twinge of a symptom I felt. I spent more than my fair share of time and energy peeing on sticks and getting the same, negative result.
I understand that what worked for me will not work for you, being as we are all crafted differently.
What I NEED you to understand is that the Creator of the universe will not leave you out in the cold. He will meet you where you are. He will comfort you, guide you and bless you the more you trust Him with this situation.
I can promise you that Jesus will take your tears and pain and turn this into progress. The two years of infertility issues we went through were so that I could finally hand over the control I had on my life and give it all to Him. He wants us to take painful and just plain awful situations and use them to draw closer to Him. His purpose for my pain is to reach out to others, like you, with open arms and tell you that I understand.
I GET IT!
I found GRACE through our infertility. I found compassion and I found mercy through Jesus.
I promise you that He has been working behind the scenes to conduct a marvelous plan for all of this. It may not be what we have in mind but I promise that it will be better than we could have ever planned for ourselves!
Hang in there.
Reach out to others going through the same thing.
Reach out to others that have been where you are and can help.
If I could go back and tell myself anything it would be to say: that it's ok to be sad. It's ok to feel bitter. It's ok to have a glass of wine and forget a night of taking a prenatal vitamin. Find support and reach out to others. Don't beat myself up and don't ever, ever feel like something is wrong with me.
I adore you sweet friend. I am here for you.
MUCH, MUCH LOVE <3
If you or somebody know is struggling with infertility, here are a couple of link I want to share as valuable resources:
National Infertility Awareness Week
Daily Strength
Fertility Lifelines
and of course: gfmamaj@gmail.com
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