I am learning...

I've grown up a lot in the past few years. I've grown up even more since becoming a mother. I still have so much growing up to do and maybe I'll never fully get there but I know one thing for sure, I'm getting the hang of life little by little. Here are some things that I have and still am learning about life:

1) Not everyone is going to like me.
And I don't have to like everyone. We are all different; different personalities, interests, spiritual beliefs, sense of humor, etc. And that's quite alright! I am learning to not be so offended when I just don't mesh with another human being. All I know is that that I still need to show the same amount of love for all those around me, regardless if we are the best of friends or not.

2) I do not have to change who I am. FOR ANYBODY.
I do not have to be somebody I'm not TO get people to like me. I've done this for a lot of my life and I am done. It's exhausting. I'm loud, crazy, fun, overly sensitive and just plain silly. God made me the way I am for a reason and to even question that as much as I have in the past makes me, well, kind of sad! Life is too short to walk around caring about every single opinion there is about me. I'm learning that I need to be bold and confident in the person God made me to be.  This is not easy but most certainly achievable!

3) Women don't have to hate each other.
It's true ladies, we don't. Women can be fierce creatures. We can be mean, spiteful, conniving, jealous; the list goes on. BUT GUESS WHAT! We don't have to be any of those. We are human; I know this. We get upset, let jealousy get the best of who we are but we can change that. I can change that. I used to be extremely judgmental. And mean. And spiteful. But mostly jealous and all of other women who had what I wanted. I dismissed my own blessings and focused on theirs. I disliked other women without even getting to know them first. I didn't like that and I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want others to look at my actions and get that vibe from me. My husband, who's actually heard most of the rude comments under my breath, is who really brought it to my attention (I LOVE his accountability! No sarcasm) and said I needed to work that out with myself. That side of me has improved in huge amounts but I'm just one person. Which leads me to my next point...

4) Mothers need to STOP with the harsh judgments...
against each other.
Like most of the mamas I come into contact with, we all want what's best for our sweet little babes. Some of us formula feed, or breastfeed or pump! Some of us co-sleep and some of us think that's nuts. Some of us believe in the cry-it-out method and some of us don't. It's OK that we all have different styles of parenting. What's NOT ok is judging others for doing or not doing something we may or may not do ourselves. We are all in this together. I believe it's in our best interest to come together as a huge community of mamas, support each other and help one another out. We are all doing ok and doing what's best for our own little families. There should be no reason to constantly have to defend our reasons for doing anything when it comes to our own children. Seriously.

5) Release the negativity.
There are just some people in my life that have not and do not belong there. This doesn't mean they are not in my heart and in fact it's these people I tend to pray more for. It can be a past friend, somebody you just met, a co-worker or even family. I am learning that it's ok to let the negative go. I cannot be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly, a servant to Jesus if I keep letting all this negativity get the best of me. This includes what's put on social media by my "friends" list. I cannot stand my addiction to Facebook and have been praying for the ability to either cut back or cut it out of my life. I am really learning to get rid of the negative sources and start breathing in the positive I'm trying to surround myself with.

6) It's ok to give myself a pat on the back.
I once wrote a post The 10 Things I Like About Me. It was about complimenting myself on things I liked about, well, me! I sometimes look back on that post when I'm having a bad "me" day; when I'm really down on something I may have done wrong and I need a pick me up. Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to tell myself I am doing a good job. That's not ok. I've learned that I need to love myself before I can really love anyone else. So I've started making changes to better my body, my mind and my soul. I've started a workout program called t25 and believe or not I feel great and can almost see results starting to form. I've changed my diet into an almost all organic and natural (Gluten Free, of course!) diet. I've started making myself say one positive thing, a day, in the mirror when I get dressed in the morning. I've gotten back into the musical side of me by joining the worship team at my church and singing a lot more in general. I tell myself I am a good mom and wife. I'm doing my best to be a faithful follower of Christ. I am allowed to say "Good job Amanda!" and recently that's just what I have been doing.

7) God really IS on my side and my past does not matter.
I am more then hard on myself. I beat myself up. (Not literally..) I am my own worst critic. It's taking me a long while to move past some things that have happened in my life, the mistakes I made and the people I've hurt. I have been drilling into my head: HEY, I'm doing FINE! I am growing closer to Jesus and He is my BEST support system. He has come through and has pulled me through so many trials. My past is making me who I am today and has opened my eyes to what a relationship with Jesus is really like. What Pastor Perry preached today about Gods grace, really struck a nerve. I AM MADE NEW! HE IS FOR ME! HE BREAKS MY CHAINS! He rights my wrongs. He is NEVER disappointed in me. My past DOES NOT make who I am as a person but instead tells a testimony of where I am going in life with Jesus already ahead of me. I am so thankful to have a relationship with Him. To find constant freedom, forgiveness and never ending love in Him. I am so blessed to have Him first in my life, for it is because of Him that everything falls into place.

Life is hard, messy, beautiful ,exhausting, wild and fun. But mostly beautiful. 

I will never have all the answers but the more I go through all these different experiences, good and bad, the more I grow. And that's what life is all about right? If YOU have anything you'd like to add to this list or even have a list of your own, you know where to find me, 24/7: gfmamaj@gmail.com

God Bless!

MUCH LOVE!

It all started with a toaster

"I have found the one whom my soul loves."
-Song of Solomon 3:4
Yes, this ones about you babe!
Growing up and becoming an adult is scary but when you have your best friend by your side, it's not  necessarily easier but sweeter.
I prayed for Eric to come into my life long before I met him. My heart was bruised from the only other serious relationship I had before him and I was anxious to move past that and meet the man I could call my husband.
As we all know (and I'm clearly a firm believer), everything happens in Gods time and not our own. How everything happened between Eric and I was and still is fate. Gods gentle hands have been all over our relationship from the beginning!
Rewind to  February 20, 2011. Another Valentines Day had past and I was more bitter about love then the year before. I had spent some time with friends that weekend at Cherry Point Air Station with no intentions of wanting to meet anyone, especially a Marine.
I was actually getting ready to leave and go back home when I saw a white Ford Ranger roll up to the barracks and a very tall man in uniform get out and slam his truck door. My friend turns to me and tells me that was the guy she wanted to introduce to me. I told her forget it, he seems goofy. Next thing you know, Eric is throwing a toaster over the balcony of his barracks all because his roommate made him fail room inspection. Not only did he spark my interest then for some reason but I also wanted the toaster, ha!
A few moments later, we met! One sushi date and a week later, he finally asked for my number. I guess you can say we started dating immediately. The next weekend he took me down to SC where I met his family and the rest is history! We spent every single moment we had together. We would sit in the walmart parking lot for hours just talking. We would take turns driving that hour and a half drive to see each other every day until I finally moved closer to be with him.
On my 21st birthday (3 months later) we were riding in that same truck when he asked (more  like declared) me to marry him. After asking my parents permission, we set the date for August 12th but the Marine Corps decided 24 hour duty was more important so we set it for August 19, 2011.
Three years and two months later and I still get butterflies when I know my husband is on the way home from work. Anytime I look at him, it's like I see him for the first time. I still remember what it was like the first time he kissed me, told me he loved me, or sang to me in his truck.
Our relationship has been the biggest growing experience in my life. God used Eric to save me and mend the bruises that surrounded my heart. He showed me what love really was when I needed it the most. He is my biggest blessing and without him, I wouldn't be a mother to the most beautiful baby girl.
He's my best friend, my soulmate, my teammate, my tickle fighter, my hard worker, my honest critic, my spiritual mentor and the best daddy I could've ever asked him to be. After all we've been through, I know that we were meant to do life together. I couldn't be more proud of the man and father he's been becoming.
If you're looking for love, stop. God will bring a partner to you at the exact right time. It'll be worth the wait and, like me, you'll look back one day at the times you were at your loneliest and just be
even more thankful for the person by your side. Love is out there, just keep praying!
As always, I'm here to pray with or for you about anything! aljanson819@gmail.com.
Much love!