Seasons Change. Jesus Doesn't.

I LOVE FALL!

In fact, I love fall so much, I could shout it to the world!

I LOVE FALL!

There's something so magical about that crisp feeling in the air. It's a feeling I can't quite find the words to describe but there are moments when the sun is shining, the leaves are changing colors, the air is crisp and it just tugs at my heart strings.
To me, fall is another piece of evidence of how much our Creator truly loves us! :)

Entering into this years season of Fall, God has placed a few things on my heart that I'd love to share.

The simple minded part of me, loves fall for these reasons:
* Changing leaves 
* Pumpkin EVERYTHING
* Thanksgiving!
* Change of weather. Which brings me to..
* Cute, cozy sweaters to wear
* Bonfires and SMORES (gluten free of course!) 
* The promise that Christmas is coming!

But this year I thought to try and tap into the spiritual reasons there are to love Fall and came up with this:
Fall is a beautiful reminder that all things change; nothing ever stays the same. Seasons or trials will come and go. Things will grow and things will die. I am in a season of my life now where I feel things are forever changing. A lesson that God was teaching me last week is nothing even remotely relatable to what He's teaching me this week! Our church is forever growing and changing, along with, our Worship Team. (PRAISE JESUS!) My family just went through a rather tough little season. Our country is about to go though some major change as well. Change is everywhere!

Like I just said, nothing stays the same. Things are constantly revolving. Life is so unpredictable; so unstable Except ONE thing.

JESUS.

A couple of verses that I discovered that fit this topic are some I'd love to share with you.

"The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the Lord blows on it; 
surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever."
-Isaiah 40: 7-8

"Jesus is the same yesterday and today and today and forever."
-Hebrews 13:8

"For I the Lord do not change."
-Malachi 3:6

So while the trees are changing colors and the leaves are dying and falling off the trees..while the temperature outside changes from hot into cooler weather, our God DOESN'T CHANGE.

His love, His mercy, His grace, His power, His patience, His strength, and His holiness remains the absolute same.
What promise and hope we can get from this truth in an ever-changing and evolving world!
What promise and hope we can get from turning to His Word and knowing that it will never be different. That everything He said and meant 1,000's of years ago, He still means them today!

His victory on the cross? Remains the same.

His promises for us? Remains the same.

His plans for us? Remains the same. We were born with God already knowing every move we would make and every thought we would have. And in this moment, even as you're reading this, He is WORKING things for our good. (Romans 8:28) WHAT A GOOD FATHER! 

So I promise that even though much can change in our lives and outside our windows, God will never ever change. His Being and His nature will remain true and the same for forever.

So with all that said, Happy Fall! Hope you are all able to drink some apple cider and enjoy a snuggly fire :)
Much love sweet friends! 

Nothing Is Wasted

I will honestly admit that this is one story I do NOT want to share. It's a story that for the past 6 weeks, I've been wanting to forget. A story that I never thought would be mine to share.
But I know and truly realize I was given this story for many reasons. I've been learning how much God really does use our pain for purpose. I was given this story, not to remain silent, but to share with many and boast about His goodness and His unwavering amount of grace and strength. It's a story about hope and how, even through the worst of situations, He can still can take a tragedy and turn it into triumph
So please, treat this story as fragile as feels, for it's still a healing wound.

This October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
I have known and heard personal stories of women experiencing miscarriages. I've read, in prayer threads online, the desperate cries of women who were asking for prayer and hanging on to the last bit of hope they had. My heart always ached for them but as they say "You never know what someone else is going through until you've experienced it for yourself." I never knew how much this statement would resonate with me. Until it all started to happen to me.

I'll start by saying how much Eric and I ADORE parenthood. I mean adore it. Makenna saved us in so many ways and she is truly our miracle child. We prayed and hoped for her for years. Being her parent has been the most incredible thing and one of the greatest gifts God could have ever given us. It felt only natural that after 6 months of having Makenna with us that we wanted to start trying for another.
As I expected there to be, there were complications. But it felt a lot easier to deal with the second time around because I truly was in a place where I relied more on Jesus and stuck with that it would happen in His PEFECT timing.
We kept trying for almost a year and half with, for the most part, complete peace and relaxation about it.
The middle of this past July brought some great news. After grabbing a pizza lunch with a couple, Eric and I ran to Target and I felt the need to buy a pregnancy test. I had "unloaded my pizza" in the bathroom when first getting into the store and it wasn't the first time that week I had "tossed my cookies" that week.
I took it immediately when we got home and received the brightest positive I had ever seen! I felt dizzy, excited, nervous all at once and looked my first baby. I told her she was going to be a big sister and held her while I cried with joy.
Makenna and I walked out of the bathroom and met Eric in the kitchen where I told him I had a surprise. I held out the test and he, equally, joined in my excitement.
The following Monday would be our first baby appointment and we couldn't wait.
Our appointment finally arrived and we could hardly stand the wait to our see our new baby!
The ultrasound seemed to be going fine until I noticed that the technician wasn't saying anything. She wasn't pointing out where the baby was and didn't let us hear a heartbeat. My heart sank. I knew right then and there that something was wrong. I remember thinking in my head "Please God, I'll do anything. Please."
The ultrasound technician stated how she wasn't able to say anything about the ultrasound and that our doctor would meet with us and explain it all. We didn't get good news from her either. It looked like what I had was a blighted ovum. It's where the baby is lost super early in pregnancy but yet the body still thinks and acts like it's pregnant. Seemed like complete unfairness and pure cruelty to me.
We were given the option to terminate the pregnancy but for moral reasons, we decided to wait. Either for God to perform a miracle or at least for my body to do what it needed to, naturally. The wait would be another 2 weeks to have another ultrasound.
Fast forward to most agonizing and stressful weeks of my life to ultrasound #2 where we discovered that there were 2 yolk sacs meaning 2 babies. My doctor was struck with such confusion and said she no longer felt comfortable with termination and I needed to come back another week later for ultrasound #3, stating that since we were possibly dealing with twins, that changed the entire situation. However, we received the news that my hormone levels were dropping with the doctor explaining it didn't look good.
That next Monday, before my next ultrasound, my miscarriage started.
There's not too much to explain after that. It was over. It was a loss. Two babies that we wouldn't hold in our arms. I was devastated and in a way I still am.
However this verse has never been more true:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28
It's become my mantra. My life verse. The weeks that we experienced the waiting to see what would happen, the desperate pleas and cries to God, the trying to understand the meaning and the purpose behind all this...this verse popped up everywhere.

It reminds me that through the pain, through the hardships, the trials, through our mess and even our darkest hour..God works all things for our good and His glory, as long as we love Him. It may not seem good, but we can rest assure that it is. God is using our pain for purpose and as my Pastor says often "Nothing is wasted." Nothing in God goes in vain. 

It's been a HUGE test of faith and character for both Eric and I. And I never thought I would be that 1 in 4 to have to go through this but I am and it happened. The choice is mine to sit around and mope or to use my circumstances to reach out to others who may be going through something similar.

I thank Him for using and working through me. I praise Him for being a good Father. I worship Him for giving me the strength that brought me through such agonizing weeks of waiting then healing. And I put my complete hope in Him as we move on and try for our next miracle baby. 

There IS hope at the end of, what seems like, a dark and lonely tunnel. If this is something you've experience and you need an outlet, someone to talk to..I am here! GOD is here! I pray for overwhelming amounts of peace and understanding to fall upon you.

A serious thank you for all who read this. It's not a fun, happy topic but miscarriages happen and they are not as uncommon as we may think. Let's not just draw awareness to it but allow others to share their stories.

Much love, as always, friends! 

Behind "Live Loved"

Hello there friends and Happy September!!
I literally have one million excuses for why I have fallen behind on this blog.
Honestly, life took a huge turn for the busy and our family has finally found some peace, calm, and new routine has made coming back to this blog even sweeter. And football season is back. YES!

Anyhoo! Welcome to the new, revamped blog! Everything from the layout and the title has had some work done to it and I pray you love it as much as I do!
If you're new to viewing, I would love for you to check out the "Get to know the blogger" page on the left column :)
I wanted to take today's post and lay out the reasoning behind the blogs new title "Live Loved." 

Let me start by saying, I had been wanting to return to this blog for several weeks now. Eric, Makenna and I had some events happen to us and I felt like the Lord has been pressing me to get our story out there. (Which will come at a later time.) Unfortunately, satan had some other plans. He wanted to see me take our recent life events and use them as an excuse to be bitter and angry and to pull away from Jesus. Which is exactly what had started to happen...
I quickly found myself heading down a road of depression. I had no appetite, I didn't want to see anybody except my child and my husband and even then, poor Eric received the blunt of my hurt, pain and frustration. All the while satan was behind the scenes grinning as wide as he could because he knew he was getting his way.
It wasn't until a huge argument on the home front that I (thanks to the Lord working tirelessly through my husband) had the chance to banish satan and his antics out loud and declare to move forward!
That was August 28th.
September 1st started MY official fall season. It was a brand new month and I could already feel a shift in the atmosphere and in my bones. I felt Jesus tugging and pulling at my heart for all sorts of different reasons. I woke up early that morning and immediately turned to my bible and journal and started praying and proclaiming away. I promised myself that I would never let my heart and spirit get that low again. That I would stay consistently in His word and in prayer. I prayed fiercely that Jesus would, that day, send me some kind of sign that I was going to be ok; that the dark trial was over for good.

Almost 10 minutes after that prayer, I logged into my email and found a random devotional from Lysa Terkeurst in my inbox. It was a 5 day plan you had to subscribe to called Untangling Hurt From Your Heart and it was labeled Day 1. The crazy thing I didn't subscribe to anything from her. As I read through it, I kept thinking how a lot of what was written could be applied to my life but it wasn't hitting me directly and I had planned to just tuck this devotion away for later use until I read this line: "The Lord can quiet our crazy thoughts with His love" and it went on saying about how we need to "live from the abundant place that you are loved." 
Then these two words appeared:
LIVE LOVED
It hit me. I felt like the blood had drained from my face and I started to weep. I thought about those 2 words so hard.
I thought about how Jesus just literally pulled me out from an awful and sad place. How He silenced those voices from the enemy because He loves me that much.
I thought about how it doesn't matter what hurtful circumstances have come and gone, it doesn't matter what hard and maybe hurtful trails are to come in the future. It doesn't matter who likes me and who doesn't. It doesn't matter who's approval I get and who's I don't. It doesn't matter if I try something and fail.
You know why?
BECAUSE I AM LOVED BY AND AM THE DAUGHTER OF THE SAVIOR OF THIS WORLD!
I am a princess in the eyes of my Father. He loves and cares for me SO MUCH that He sent His son to take my place on the cross.  He sent His son to die for my sin, my hurt and my shame.
THAT IS THE TRUEST LOVE ANY OF US WILL EVER SEE IN OUR LIFE!
It's the kind of love I want and my pray for my daughter to grow up knowing, seeking and craving; a love that I pray she feels everyday!
When I thought about it that day (and I mean really thought about it) and studied and looked at those two words, it truly struck my heart like lightening.
I pray these 2 words to encourage you today. I want you to think about how much different our perspective and outlook would be on life and our daily situations or circumstances if we walked around with the idea that we are loved, IMMENSELY, by Jesus Christ.
If we LIVE LOVED.
Because we are :)


Thank you for reading this friends! I look forward to being back on the blogging band wagon and have some yummy recipes that I'll soon be adding to "My Favorite Gluten Free Recipes" page so be on the lookout!

Much love!


**Oh and because I know you want to see how beautiful my, now, TWO year old is! ;)..