Called to be BOLD

We ALL have fears about something.
Whether it be spiders (seriously!), clowns, heights, animals, etc.
Sometimes it's more serious things like dying, cancer, divorce, love. (Yes I said love)
Over the past few years I could describe myself as coming a bit more "wimpy." I know that sounds a little harsh but it's nothing but truth. I have allowed the hurt of my past completely take over how bold and courageous I used to be with everything; music, new adventures but most importantly, people.
I have almost been scared to make friends; to allow people in or go out and be that social butterfly I once was. I have a fear of rejection and of others not liking me. A fear of letting someone too close, they take what they need from me and then leave. I was that way when I met Eric and I'm still struggling with it with other people.
This once outgoing and friendly girl is now shy and meek.
I absolutely love being a follower of Jesus. I love how I have a forever best friend. Someone that finds a way to hold me accountable, to guide me and, well, having somebody die for you is a pretty big deal so questioning His loyalty just isn't something I do anymore. I just love how He reaches me right where I am, without missing a beat.
Where am I going with this?
Last month, I was reading a devotion and it was focused around this verse:

Such a GREAT verse.

I started to think hard about MY boldness; if my fears were getting in the way of what I wanted to do with my life. If my fears were keeping me from friendships, dreams, or just going out and reaching the lost like He asks me to do. I was getting frustrated because I knew I wasn't being strong and courageous like I wanted to. 

Just then, on Pandora, Courageous by Casting Crowns came on. 

We were made to be courageous

We were made to lead the way

We could be the generation

That finally breaks the chains

We were made to be courageous

We were made to be courageous

We were warriors on the front lines

Standing, unafraid

But now we're watchers on the sidelines

While our families slip away

I love this song. I've heard it before and knew what the meaning of the song was but never directly applied it to my life. Jesus knew exactly what I needed to hear and when I needed to hear it. It put a spark in my heart. A spark that only He could've ignited. 

I know that I don't need to be afraid of anything. I can do anything with His strength and courage that He gives me.

Since that moment, it has been made clear that I'm being called into ministry. I have applied and been accepted into a college to keep furthering my education. I ran a 5K, started to volunteer in a few different areas at church and I even made some new mommy friends :)

We are given only a short amount of borrowed time here on this earth. I want to make the most out of it and the gifts that Jesus has given me. I can't do that while hiding in my house, away from the world because of a fear of rejection or getting hurt.

Look at what Jesus went through while trying to teach a message. He was hated on, ridiculed, beaten and then faced death. All so that I can continue his teachings and love on as many people as I can.

Do you have any fears? Anything you feel is holding you back from living your life? 

He calls us to be bold for a reason, and we NEED to know that He has our back! 

So go and be bold. Go out for that job you were thinking about. or go for hike up a mountain you've been wanting to check out or even go to a circus and take a picture with a clown. Haha!

Whatever it may be, I know you can do it and He knows too! He'll let you know if you're not going down the right path.

Thoughts, comments, questions?

gfmamaj@gmail.com

Much love to you!

P.S. Check out Courageous by Casting Crowns:

I am learning...

I've grown up a lot in the past few years. I've grown up even more since becoming a mother. I still have so much growing up to do and maybe I'll never fully get there but I know one thing for sure, I'm getting the hang of life little by little. Here are some things that I have and still am learning about life:

1) Not everyone is going to like me.
And I don't have to like everyone. We are all different; different personalities, interests, spiritual beliefs, sense of humor, etc. And that's quite alright! I am learning to not be so offended when I just don't mesh with another human being. All I know is that that I still need to show the same amount of love for all those around me, regardless if we are the best of friends or not.

2) I do not have to change who I am. FOR ANYBODY.
I do not have to be somebody I'm not TO get people to like me. I've done this for a lot of my life and I am done. It's exhausting. I'm loud, crazy, fun, overly sensitive and just plain silly. God made me the way I am for a reason and to even question that as much as I have in the past makes me, well, kind of sad! Life is too short to walk around caring about every single opinion there is about me. I'm learning that I need to be bold and confident in the person God made me to be.  This is not easy but most certainly achievable!

3) Women don't have to hate each other.
It's true ladies, we don't. Women can be fierce creatures. We can be mean, spiteful, conniving, jealous; the list goes on. BUT GUESS WHAT! We don't have to be any of those. We are human; I know this. We get upset, let jealousy get the best of who we are but we can change that. I can change that. I used to be extremely judgmental. And mean. And spiteful. But mostly jealous and all of other women who had what I wanted. I dismissed my own blessings and focused on theirs. I disliked other women without even getting to know them first. I didn't like that and I didn't want to be like that. I didn't want others to look at my actions and get that vibe from me. My husband, who's actually heard most of the rude comments under my breath, is who really brought it to my attention (I LOVE his accountability! No sarcasm) and said I needed to work that out with myself. That side of me has improved in huge amounts but I'm just one person. Which leads me to my next point...

4) Mothers need to STOP with the harsh judgments...
against each other.
Like most of the mamas I come into contact with, we all want what's best for our sweet little babes. Some of us formula feed, or breastfeed or pump! Some of us co-sleep and some of us think that's nuts. Some of us believe in the cry-it-out method and some of us don't. It's OK that we all have different styles of parenting. What's NOT ok is judging others for doing or not doing something we may or may not do ourselves. We are all in this together. I believe it's in our best interest to come together as a huge community of mamas, support each other and help one another out. We are all doing ok and doing what's best for our own little families. There should be no reason to constantly have to defend our reasons for doing anything when it comes to our own children. Seriously.

5) Release the negativity.
There are just some people in my life that have not and do not belong there. This doesn't mean they are not in my heart and in fact it's these people I tend to pray more for. It can be a past friend, somebody you just met, a co-worker or even family. I am learning that it's ok to let the negative go. I cannot be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly, a servant to Jesus if I keep letting all this negativity get the best of me. This includes what's put on social media by my "friends" list. I cannot stand my addiction to Facebook and have been praying for the ability to either cut back or cut it out of my life. I am really learning to get rid of the negative sources and start breathing in the positive I'm trying to surround myself with.

6) It's ok to give myself a pat on the back.
I once wrote a post The 10 Things I Like About Me. It was about complimenting myself on things I liked about, well, me! I sometimes look back on that post when I'm having a bad "me" day; when I'm really down on something I may have done wrong and I need a pick me up. Sometimes I feel like I'm not allowed to tell myself I am doing a good job. That's not ok. I've learned that I need to love myself before I can really love anyone else. So I've started making changes to better my body, my mind and my soul. I've started a workout program called t25 and believe or not I feel great and can almost see results starting to form. I've changed my diet into an almost all organic and natural (Gluten Free, of course!) diet. I've started making myself say one positive thing, a day, in the mirror when I get dressed in the morning. I've gotten back into the musical side of me by joining the worship team at my church and singing a lot more in general. I tell myself I am a good mom and wife. I'm doing my best to be a faithful follower of Christ. I am allowed to say "Good job Amanda!" and recently that's just what I have been doing.

7) God really IS on my side and my past does not matter.
I am more then hard on myself. I beat myself up. (Not literally..) I am my own worst critic. It's taking me a long while to move past some things that have happened in my life, the mistakes I made and the people I've hurt. I have been drilling into my head: HEY, I'm doing FINE! I am growing closer to Jesus and He is my BEST support system. He has come through and has pulled me through so many trials. My past is making me who I am today and has opened my eyes to what a relationship with Jesus is really like. What Pastor Perry preached today about Gods grace, really struck a nerve. I AM MADE NEW! HE IS FOR ME! HE BREAKS MY CHAINS! He rights my wrongs. He is NEVER disappointed in me. My past DOES NOT make who I am as a person but instead tells a testimony of where I am going in life with Jesus already ahead of me. I am so thankful to have a relationship with Him. To find constant freedom, forgiveness and never ending love in Him. I am so blessed to have Him first in my life, for it is because of Him that everything falls into place.

Life is hard, messy, beautiful ,exhausting, wild and fun. But mostly beautiful. 

I will never have all the answers but the more I go through all these different experiences, good and bad, the more I grow. And that's what life is all about right? If YOU have anything you'd like to add to this list or even have a list of your own, you know where to find me, 24/7: gfmamaj@gmail.com

God Bless!

MUCH LOVE!

A letter to the high school Amanda

Dear Amanda,

You are amazing. 

Beautiful. Talented. Unique. Special. 

It's your senior year of high school; you're getting ready to venture out into the big world and you're feeling anything but those qualities I used to describe you. Hear me when I say your smile can light up a room and that singing voice you've been working so hard on to perfect really IS that good. 

You'll grow into your awkward chest, you finally discover what makeup is and no, your rump never gets bigger. Sorry. Oh and by the way, you are BY NO MEANS fat. There's going to come a time when you look back on pictures from this moment and pray to God that you could have that body back. Appreciate that body. Be kind to it. 

Ignore those that hold no real significant meaning in your life. I know it's hard to turn away from the whispers behind your back or the dirty looks in the chorus room but I promise that 2,3 even 4 years down the road those fellow classmates will be even further then a distant memory. Block it out the best you can because you won't see about 99.9% of them again after graduation. 

It's OK that your grades suck. Academics has never and will never be your "thing." Just keep singing. Pour your heart and soul into it! Try your best to be able to graduate and don't worry about the rest. Enjoy the memories of singing in all the different choirs you're in now, ALL State or performing in your last drama performance. It'll be the last time you're on stage for quite a while. 

Be prepared for the biggest heartbreak of your life. You will think he is your first love but I promise, he's not even close to what your first love really feels life. This boy will lead you to new and, what feels like, exciting places. You feel on top of the world. It doesn't last. The relationship is toxic and brings you to a place in your life that you never thought you'd be. When it ends, your heart is going to feel like the biggest rock came and crushed it. Pick yourself up. You're soon going to be in a new place soon and experience new things. which all leads you to meeting the man of your dreams!

This man will be your first love. This man is not looking for love when you meet and vice versa. But he sweeps you off your feet in an instant. You both fall madly in love with each other very quickly. He loves and adores you for who you are and doesn't take advantage or try and change you. He accepts all your baggage and does his best to mend your heart every day. He will change your world. He wants to marry, love and protect you for the rest of your life. So don't be jealous of the marriages your surrounded by. Don't go searching for him. Don't worry when it doesn't work out with anyone else. Your prince charming is on his way.  He is worth the wait.

You're going to lose friends and even family but don't sweat it. It's hard and to this day you will mourn the loss of some of those people from your life. But those that are meant to be in your life will stay around and the friends that you make down the road are simply amazing! They want nothing but to build you up, make you laugh and just love and support you! Keep the negative energy away from you even if that means ending friendships you thought would last forever. You marry into a wonderful family with a sister-in-law who becomes a best friend. These are the people worth sticking around.

You're going to question God. A lot. Keep chasing Him. Follow that feeling in your gut and, yes, change your college major to ministry. Keep building your relationship with Jesus. Trust in Him because the road is long and hard to get to where we are now. Things are about to happen in your life that will shatter your soul. Keep seeking Him. He has plans to save you. He has plans to bring a church into your life that will help move mountains in your heart. He has plans to prosper you and create miracles in your life that you never thought possible. 

Like a baby. Yes despite what you might have said in the past, you ARE going to be a mommy. It's going to be the sweetest time in your life. You are going to wake up every day, look at that baby and feel more then blessed. I promise! It will have taken a lot of time, patience and prayer to have her enter the world but she is more then worth it. She is one of the greatest things to have ever happened to you. She will help you grow up and love your husband even more. Enjoy every second, take a deep breath and know you're an awesome mom!

Lastly, give your mom and dad a break. Yes they get upset when you do something wrong, yes they have to discipline you but it's for the greater good. Cling tight to them because they love you more then anything in this world. A love that you will understand the second you have your own baby. Your relationship with them goes downhill and stays there for a while. It does get better. The hurt heals and the relationship begins to flourish again. Remain honest when you get there and you will all be ok. They will be your best friends and people you see every day. You will get told how much you look, sound, act like your mom and don't even try to act like that bothers you. Because you love it! :)

Take time to be happy, give yourself a pat on the back and know that the best is yet to come. Your life goes through so many ups and downs but it's worth it all to get to where you will be in 6-7 years. Be kind to others and don't lose your free spirit. Don't conform to what the world wants you to be. Be strong and hang in there for the ride. 

It's a beautiful one.

First day of senior year :)

Hello my name is Amanda and I'm addicted to fall!

Why do so many people just love fall so much?
I could think of TONS of reasons:
-Pumpkin everything
-Thanksgiving
-Comfy sweaters and sweatshirts that make you want to snuggle with the first thing you see
-That crisp and chilly feel in the air
-The feeling that the crisp air gives you; the kind of feeling that just makes you think and feel good inside
-The constant burning of apple pie, whipped pumpkin pie and apple cinnamon candles in the house. Though I let those scents burn all year round.
-Knowing that soon after fall is Christmas!! (Anyone start their shopping yet?? This mama has!)
My favorite is the fun of going to a Famers Market on a nice day or the pumpkin patch. And these past two days, I have done just that :)

Yesterday evening we went pumpkin picking and hay-riding with one of our favorite little familes! They brought their daughter Olivia who was a little bit more into it then our sleeping baby. It was a nice night and we always have fun with them. Heres some pictures to share:

It was such a beautiful sunset last night! Made for the most perfect pumpkin picking environment

Eric was finally able to babywear Makenna, our little pumpkin head, and loved every second of it. Judging by the way she was passed out the whole time, I think she did too. She loves her daddy!

So many pumpkins to choose from!

Sunflowers are my favorite and have been since I was a little girl!

We made it home a little after 8 with some yummy Chick-Fil-A to eat and Makenna was wide awake. We've never taken her off her schedule before and probably won't again for a while since she was up till 10 pm laughing at the warning label in her bassinet, haha!

Today, Eric and my dad were able to go to the Gamecocks football game, (thanks to his awesome boss!) so my mom and I decided to check out the Soda City Market in downtown Columbia. It was AWESOME! So many cute vendors and fellow babywearers! Here are some pictures from today's adventure:

There was a breast cancer marathon going on as well, so we saw lots of pink! 

We were able to fill a box with as much farm, fresh vegis and fruits that we could fit. We took great advantage of that and I'm so excited to fill my fridge with it with so much healthy yumminess!

Makenna loved being outside in the fresh air for the second day in a row!

Now let me tell about this amazing restaurant we stopped at for lunch. The ENTIRE menu is gluten free! (Happy day for this Celiac!) It's also vegan and dairy-free friendly. They name of the place is Good Life Cafe and everything is raw. Their food isn't cooked, it's dehydrated (I hope I got that right) and never goes above 115 degrees. I had the eggplant/bacon sandwich on onion bread with a fresh fruit cup and kale salad. YUM! I recommend it to anyone of my SC friends!

Days like today give me an extra boost of a reminder of how good I have it. How life is just so wonderful and the blessings that surround me, even in a simple sandwich, amaze me! God works ALL the time. He never stops showing me how wonderful my life can be if I just follow His lead. 

I hope all of you are enjoying your fall so far! As always, my email is always open (aljanson819@gmail.com) with anything you feel the need to send. I love reading your emails and the audience I'm getting from across the world is amazing and totally keeps me motivated to keep writing! God is good, God is great.

Much love!