Seasons Change. Jesus Doesn't.

I LOVE FALL!

In fact, I love fall so much, I could shout it to the world!

I LOVE FALL!

There's something so magical about that crisp feeling in the air. It's a feeling I can't quite find the words to describe but there are moments when the sun is shining, the leaves are changing colors, the air is crisp and it just tugs at my heart strings.
To me, fall is another piece of evidence of how much our Creator truly loves us! :)

Entering into this years season of Fall, God has placed a few things on my heart that I'd love to share.

The simple minded part of me, loves fall for these reasons:
* Changing leaves 
* Pumpkin EVERYTHING
* Thanksgiving!
* Change of weather. Which brings me to..
* Cute, cozy sweaters to wear
* Bonfires and SMORES (gluten free of course!) 
* The promise that Christmas is coming!

But this year I thought to try and tap into the spiritual reasons there are to love Fall and came up with this:
Fall is a beautiful reminder that all things change; nothing ever stays the same. Seasons or trials will come and go. Things will grow and things will die. I am in a season of my life now where I feel things are forever changing. A lesson that God was teaching me last week is nothing even remotely relatable to what He's teaching me this week! Our church is forever growing and changing, along with, our Worship Team. (PRAISE JESUS!) My family just went through a rather tough little season. Our country is about to go though some major change as well. Change is everywhere!

Like I just said, nothing stays the same. Things are constantly revolving. Life is so unpredictable; so unstable Except ONE thing.

JESUS.

A couple of verses that I discovered that fit this topic are some I'd love to share with you.

"The grass withers, the flower fades
when the breath of the Lord blows on it; 
surely the people are grass.
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever."
-Isaiah 40: 7-8

"Jesus is the same yesterday and today and today and forever."
-Hebrews 13:8

"For I the Lord do not change."
-Malachi 3:6

So while the trees are changing colors and the leaves are dying and falling off the trees..while the temperature outside changes from hot into cooler weather, our God DOESN'T CHANGE.

His love, His mercy, His grace, His power, His patience, His strength, and His holiness remains the absolute same.
What promise and hope we can get from this truth in an ever-changing and evolving world!
What promise and hope we can get from turning to His Word and knowing that it will never be different. That everything He said and meant 1,000's of years ago, He still means them today!

His victory on the cross? Remains the same.

His promises for us? Remains the same.

His plans for us? Remains the same. We were born with God already knowing every move we would make and every thought we would have. And in this moment, even as you're reading this, He is WORKING things for our good. (Romans 8:28) WHAT A GOOD FATHER! 

So I promise that even though much can change in our lives and outside our windows, God will never ever change. His Being and His nature will remain true and the same for forever.

So with all that said, Happy Fall! Hope you are all able to drink some apple cider and enjoy a snuggly fire :)
Much love sweet friends! 

Nothing Is Wasted

I will honestly admit that this is one story I do NOT want to share. It's a story that for the past 6 weeks, I've been wanting to forget. A story that I never thought would be mine to share.
But I know and truly realize I was given this story for many reasons. I've been learning how much God really does use our pain for purpose. I was given this story, not to remain silent, but to share with many and boast about His goodness and His unwavering amount of grace and strength. It's a story about hope and how, even through the worst of situations, He can still can take a tragedy and turn it into triumph
So please, treat this story as fragile as feels, for it's still a healing wound.

This October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
I have known and heard personal stories of women experiencing miscarriages. I've read, in prayer threads online, the desperate cries of women who were asking for prayer and hanging on to the last bit of hope they had. My heart always ached for them but as they say "You never know what someone else is going through until you've experienced it for yourself." I never knew how much this statement would resonate with me. Until it all started to happen to me.

I'll start by saying how much Eric and I ADORE parenthood. I mean adore it. Makenna saved us in so many ways and she is truly our miracle child. We prayed and hoped for her for years. Being her parent has been the most incredible thing and one of the greatest gifts God could have ever given us. It felt only natural that after 6 months of having Makenna with us that we wanted to start trying for another.
As I expected there to be, there were complications. But it felt a lot easier to deal with the second time around because I truly was in a place where I relied more on Jesus and stuck with that it would happen in His PEFECT timing.
We kept trying for almost a year and half with, for the most part, complete peace and relaxation about it.
The middle of this past July brought some great news. After grabbing a pizza lunch with a couple, Eric and I ran to Target and I felt the need to buy a pregnancy test. I had "unloaded my pizza" in the bathroom when first getting into the store and it wasn't the first time that week I had "tossed my cookies" that week.
I took it immediately when we got home and received the brightest positive I had ever seen! I felt dizzy, excited, nervous all at once and looked my first baby. I told her she was going to be a big sister and held her while I cried with joy.
Makenna and I walked out of the bathroom and met Eric in the kitchen where I told him I had a surprise. I held out the test and he, equally, joined in my excitement.
The following Monday would be our first baby appointment and we couldn't wait.
Our appointment finally arrived and we could hardly stand the wait to our see our new baby!
The ultrasound seemed to be going fine until I noticed that the technician wasn't saying anything. She wasn't pointing out where the baby was and didn't let us hear a heartbeat. My heart sank. I knew right then and there that something was wrong. I remember thinking in my head "Please God, I'll do anything. Please."
The ultrasound technician stated how she wasn't able to say anything about the ultrasound and that our doctor would meet with us and explain it all. We didn't get good news from her either. It looked like what I had was a blighted ovum. It's where the baby is lost super early in pregnancy but yet the body still thinks and acts like it's pregnant. Seemed like complete unfairness and pure cruelty to me.
We were given the option to terminate the pregnancy but for moral reasons, we decided to wait. Either for God to perform a miracle or at least for my body to do what it needed to, naturally. The wait would be another 2 weeks to have another ultrasound.
Fast forward to most agonizing and stressful weeks of my life to ultrasound #2 where we discovered that there were 2 yolk sacs meaning 2 babies. My doctor was struck with such confusion and said she no longer felt comfortable with termination and I needed to come back another week later for ultrasound #3, stating that since we were possibly dealing with twins, that changed the entire situation. However, we received the news that my hormone levels were dropping with the doctor explaining it didn't look good.
That next Monday, before my next ultrasound, my miscarriage started.
There's not too much to explain after that. It was over. It was a loss. Two babies that we wouldn't hold in our arms. I was devastated and in a way I still am.
However this verse has never been more true:
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28
It's become my mantra. My life verse. The weeks that we experienced the waiting to see what would happen, the desperate pleas and cries to God, the trying to understand the meaning and the purpose behind all this...this verse popped up everywhere.

It reminds me that through the pain, through the hardships, the trials, through our mess and even our darkest hour..God works all things for our good and His glory, as long as we love Him. It may not seem good, but we can rest assure that it is. God is using our pain for purpose and as my Pastor says often "Nothing is wasted." Nothing in God goes in vain. 

It's been a HUGE test of faith and character for both Eric and I. And I never thought I would be that 1 in 4 to have to go through this but I am and it happened. The choice is mine to sit around and mope or to use my circumstances to reach out to others who may be going through something similar.

I thank Him for using and working through me. I praise Him for being a good Father. I worship Him for giving me the strength that brought me through such agonizing weeks of waiting then healing. And I put my complete hope in Him as we move on and try for our next miracle baby. 

There IS hope at the end of, what seems like, a dark and lonely tunnel. If this is something you've experience and you need an outlet, someone to talk to..I am here! GOD is here! I pray for overwhelming amounts of peace and understanding to fall upon you.

A serious thank you for all who read this. It's not a fun, happy topic but miscarriages happen and they are not as uncommon as we may think. Let's not just draw awareness to it but allow others to share their stories.

Much love, as always, friends! 

A Prayer For Our Wayward Nation

Oh Lord hear this prayer,

Jesus, as a mother, as a wife, as an American citizen, I am honestly scared.

As this country seems to spiral out of country, Lord I cry out to you in desperation. Help us. 

I feel as though we are literally falling apart at the seems. Between this terrifying excuse of an election, to the complete chaos on the streets, I go to bed at night and lay awake thinking "What's next? What's life going to be like for my child?"

Lord, I first and foremost pray for my own heart. I need help realizing that in order to see change I first need to be that change I long to see. I pray from this day forward that you banish any feelings that come directly from the enemy, including but not limited to: hate, ignorance, hostility, jealousy, anger, impatience, and unkindness. 

I pray Jesus that you allow nothing but love, kindness, tolerance, patience and pure joy to settle into my soul, heart, spirit. I pray that you allow me to see others how YOU see them God. That I can stand up for what is right and true in Your eyes and settle for nothing less. Do any work through me as You wish. Place me in the right places at the right time, allow good, wholesome conversations to happen with Your people, God, that only point them straight back to You and Your goodness. Give me the words to say and the things I need to do for You and for this country. Any way that You need to work through me Jesus, I am ready and willing.

Rescue this nation God. I pray for the current leaders of this country and that they feel convicted of any and all wrong doings. That they can change their ways and turn straight to You. I pray for this upcoming election and beg of You to place the right leaders into office.  That you make them honest and righteous people that can start to pick up the pieces of this broken nation.

Jesus, I pray for the people of this country and that You soften their bruised, broken and hurting hearts. Lord please have the fighting against each other stop and have us come together as one nation. Please Jesus, have us all accept each others differences and allow us to see others as You see them for You love every single person that walks this earth. I pray that more heads and hearts can turn to You and Your gift of salvation. That more dead hearts can come alive because of You. That Your salvation can reach the ends the earth.

Lord, allow those that already love and believe in You to set Your example. That we show love and kindness regardless of how we are treated or any anger we may feel inside. Allow us to show this country Your glory and goodness. Allow us to let Your light shine so bright. 

It's all these things I pray in Your name Jesus, Amen.

This is a prayer I wrote out in my journal yesterday morning after turning on my local news station to see what's been happening in Charlotte, NC. I felt myself reaching for my journal to vent and complain when it then dawned on me:

We must pray for this nation and for each other as much as we want to complain about it. 

We all say how much we can't stand what's going on around us but yet sit back and expect it to become somebody else's responsibility to fix it. (Trust me, I'm preaching to myself here!)

NO MORE!

WAKE UP!

If the ONLY thing we are able to do is to show love, smile at somebody who walks past us, pay for somebody's gas or groceries, help a mom you see struggling at the store (the list seriously goes on and on) then we are contributing to the change more than we realize.

I love you all. Seriously, I do. This is a super great nation and I am so proud and honored to be considered an American. I want nothing more than to see this country thrive.

Be kind souls today and every day.

Much love <3

Thrifty Galifty

Hello again!
I would first like to say a HUGE thank you to all who read, commented, and messaged me regarding my last post! Thank you for being an awesome blog community and some pretty cool friends/fam!

Secondly, when I decided to jump back into the blogging world, I knew I wanted to start branching out into other topics besides my faith and life lessons. (Which are 2 of my fave topics.) I have so many passions and interests that I would love to start writing about!

SO! With that being said..
Today I am going to talk about thrifting and what I am learning about it so far. I'm pretty much a newbie.

Earlier today, I went with Makenna (HUGE mistake haha) to a Goodwill store that's pretty much right down the street from our home. I will say that I do like to check out more local thrift shops then chains but I always seem to strike gold when I go to this Goodwill and plus, I was looking for something very specific.
The first I've learned about thrifting is to drop my daughter off with my parents, haha!
This goes along with the second thing I've learned about thrifting:
BE PATIENT!
And it is quite hard to be patient when my 2 year old is trying to escape the cart and grab everything she sees! So going solo or just without a child is better. No but seriously patience is much needed when on the quest to find awesome items. It takes time to sift through things (especially clothes) and find the hidden gems.

Here are a few things I found today!

I literally spend $10.48 on all of this. Everything except the picture frame all the way to the right (which is BRAND NEW from Walmart, still in the package and cost $.50!) is from Target. Everything but the grey shorts (I like grey, can you tell?) still had tags on it..including the cute, oversized grey sweatshirt, the lamp and that cute, little wall decor.

About that yellow wall decor!

Check out the original price on the price tag:

Can't see it? (Notice it's still in the box)

That's right, the original price of this little, glass thing for the wall cost $16.99!! WHAT?! I remember seeing this in target and thought, no way dude..I'll wait till they mark it down but even their clearance price was way too much to spend on this. I purchased this, brand new, still in the box for $1.25. Now THAT price is more like it!

The thing that I like the most about this Goodwill is that every week, Target brings over their clearance items that just aren't selling in the store and they donate it to the store. They had TONS of things (with tags still on it) such as shoes, jackets, other clothes, lamps (like the one you see in the picture) but all at a Goodwill price. 

It's all about learning which days to go! (Another thrifting tip!!)

Lindsey Turner, from the blog Thrift and Shout, has an awesome page of Thrift tips that I love to read and that you can to by clicking here. Her blog is also filled with all of her super cute thrift finds!

One more thing I'd like to chat about when it comes to thrifting lessons, is to not judge a book by its cover and give things a chance.

Take this lamp for example:

I have been looking for a small, cute lamp for the desk that we just put in our living room. I really couldn't bring myself to spend almost $20 on a CUTE, new lamp (that didn't even include the lamp shade) when all I needed it was for my desk. I found this one, with the tag still on it and didn't like it. I circled around the store and looked at the other lamps that were just poopy and made my way to picking this one up again. I decided that after some new paint to get rid of that black, some distressing, and a cute lamp shade from the store (that I can handle to spend, I guess) this, not my style, lamp could work! I am unaware of the original price but it only cost me $2.50 at Goodwill. I'll take that as a win :) I'll make sure to post the "after"! 

Well, that's all from my end friends! If any local pals ever want to take a thrift trip, just holler :)

Happy Thursday! Yay for Friyay tomorrow!!!

Much love!

Behind "Live Loved"

Hello there friends and Happy September!!
I literally have one million excuses for why I have fallen behind on this blog.
Honestly, life took a huge turn for the busy and our family has finally found some peace, calm, and new routine has made coming back to this blog even sweeter. And football season is back. YES!

Anyhoo! Welcome to the new, revamped blog! Everything from the layout and the title has had some work done to it and I pray you love it as much as I do!
If you're new to viewing, I would love for you to check out the "Get to know the blogger" page on the left column :)
I wanted to take today's post and lay out the reasoning behind the blogs new title "Live Loved." 

Let me start by saying, I had been wanting to return to this blog for several weeks now. Eric, Makenna and I had some events happen to us and I felt like the Lord has been pressing me to get our story out there. (Which will come at a later time.) Unfortunately, satan had some other plans. He wanted to see me take our recent life events and use them as an excuse to be bitter and angry and to pull away from Jesus. Which is exactly what had started to happen...
I quickly found myself heading down a road of depression. I had no appetite, I didn't want to see anybody except my child and my husband and even then, poor Eric received the blunt of my hurt, pain and frustration. All the while satan was behind the scenes grinning as wide as he could because he knew he was getting his way.
It wasn't until a huge argument on the home front that I (thanks to the Lord working tirelessly through my husband) had the chance to banish satan and his antics out loud and declare to move forward!
That was August 28th.
September 1st started MY official fall season. It was a brand new month and I could already feel a shift in the atmosphere and in my bones. I felt Jesus tugging and pulling at my heart for all sorts of different reasons. I woke up early that morning and immediately turned to my bible and journal and started praying and proclaiming away. I promised myself that I would never let my heart and spirit get that low again. That I would stay consistently in His word and in prayer. I prayed fiercely that Jesus would, that day, send me some kind of sign that I was going to be ok; that the dark trial was over for good.

Almost 10 minutes after that prayer, I logged into my email and found a random devotional from Lysa Terkeurst in my inbox. It was a 5 day plan you had to subscribe to called Untangling Hurt From Your Heart and it was labeled Day 1. The crazy thing I didn't subscribe to anything from her. As I read through it, I kept thinking how a lot of what was written could be applied to my life but it wasn't hitting me directly and I had planned to just tuck this devotion away for later use until I read this line: "The Lord can quiet our crazy thoughts with His love" and it went on saying about how we need to "live from the abundant place that you are loved." 
Then these two words appeared:
LIVE LOVED
It hit me. I felt like the blood had drained from my face and I started to weep. I thought about those 2 words so hard.
I thought about how Jesus just literally pulled me out from an awful and sad place. How He silenced those voices from the enemy because He loves me that much.
I thought about how it doesn't matter what hurtful circumstances have come and gone, it doesn't matter what hard and maybe hurtful trails are to come in the future. It doesn't matter who likes me and who doesn't. It doesn't matter who's approval I get and who's I don't. It doesn't matter if I try something and fail.
You know why?
BECAUSE I AM LOVED BY AND AM THE DAUGHTER OF THE SAVIOR OF THIS WORLD!
I am a princess in the eyes of my Father. He loves and cares for me SO MUCH that He sent His son to take my place on the cross.  He sent His son to die for my sin, my hurt and my shame.
THAT IS THE TRUEST LOVE ANY OF US WILL EVER SEE IN OUR LIFE!
It's the kind of love I want and my pray for my daughter to grow up knowing, seeking and craving; a love that I pray she feels everyday!
When I thought about it that day (and I mean really thought about it) and studied and looked at those two words, it truly struck my heart like lightening.
I pray these 2 words to encourage you today. I want you to think about how much different our perspective and outlook would be on life and our daily situations or circumstances if we walked around with the idea that we are loved, IMMENSELY, by Jesus Christ.
If we LIVE LOVED.
Because we are :)


Thank you for reading this friends! I look forward to being back on the blogging band wagon and have some yummy recipes that I'll soon be adding to "My Favorite Gluten Free Recipes" page so be on the lookout!

Much love!


**Oh and because I know you want to see how beautiful my, now, TWO year old is! ;)..

Hi Amanda, meet Amanda

Well HELLO! 
Phew, it's been a minute hasn't it?
I can't even begin to tell you how many times life has, straight up, gotten in the way of me blogging. Literally, it has been non-stop since January. God has been moving and doing SO MUCH GOOD STUFF in the Janson household.
I became the worship leader at an exceptional, not-so-little, church named DECIDEDchurch and WOW what a ride that has been. The family and relationships that have already been formed are just more than incredible. I could go on and on about this church but..maybe another blog post ;)
I'm the mother to an almost 2 year old and well, that's always interesting! She's growing up to be such a sweet and precious little baby...we couldn't be more blessed! But TWO years old?!! WHOA! Motherhood is making time fly way too fast!
So much has been happening in our lives and in our hearts. I have learned so very much about myself and Jesus so far in 2016. I feel, almost, like a brand new person and I would love to share 5 things I've learned in the past 5 months!

1) God really DOES move. All.the.time.
Of course I know God is constantly working behind the scenes. He's shifting things sideways and upways and downways and putting all the puzzle pieces together. It's one thing to know and it's another thing to know AND SEE it happen. From the very beginning of my new journey at DECIDEDchurch I have seen God work in ways that I've never seen Him work before. I've watched Him orchestrate such beautiful and awesome things together, right before my eyes. He went above and beyond any of my expectations of what He can do and He STILL is! I see so many reasons as to what He was doing in certain areas of our life..why we couldn't buy a house when we wanted to, why He lead us to Irmo, etc!

2) It's never too late
I am turning 26 in less than a month. 26!!!! While this doesn't seem like a big deal to most, it is most definitely huge to me. Confession time.. I don't embrace age very well. It scares sometimes with how fast life seems to be going and a lot of the times I do not feel as old as I am! I mean, seriously, I feel like I just graduated high school! When going into this year and with the opportunity God was placing in front of me, I honestly thought that it was just too late to still go after my dreams and what I truly felt my calling always was. When He first laid on my heart (more like pounded and hammered) that I was meant to go to DECIDED and lead worship, I kept asking so many darn questions and one of them went something like: "I am almost 26 years old God. Why should I start investing in my future now? Maybe I am just meant to be a mom and wife for the rest of my life and thats it.. right?" Umm, WRONG! It's NEVER too late! 26 is obviously still young but I mean, even at 65 years old, if God is willing to go to the lengths of convicting me with my next move, I pray and hope that I still know then to do it. It's never too late to do something you love and use a skill or talent that God has given you. After all, it's only going to advance His kingdom!

3) I have the most supportive husband
I have to say that I appreciate my husband more and more every day. To be able to witness the transformation that Jesus has done on his life is one of my greatest joys. Through the entire process of making a decision to either leave the church we were out and take a next step or to just stay where we were..he never tried convinced me to stay where we both felt comfortable. He was firm on "If He's telling you to move, then move." And not only did he support my decision to leave our, then current, church but he trusted in what God was telling me to do and we made the move as a family. WOW! He is so dedicated to our marriage, to our family, to our church and to God. I am SO thankful for him!!!

4) Motherhood does not need to inhibit your plans at all
Before jumping into anything, I always question how it will affect Makenna and my time with her. I take staying home with her very seriously. It's been such a HUGE blessing and I'm thankful God has allowed it to go on as long as it has! I also feel as though I've been really reluctant to try anything new or jump into anything in fear that it would jeopardize how I go about motherhood. I've been using Makenna as a crutch to not try anything new.
But, at the same and somewhat confusing time, motherhood has also made me really brave. God has used Makenna to teach me so much about myself and these past 5 months have been such an eye opener as to how I treat my responsibility and joy of being a mom. Motherhood should NEVER prevent me from taking risks and doing things that I love! I've witnessed and just know that so many moms lose themselves in motherhood and forget about themselves. I feel that there's a way to accomplish both and I feel like I've finally found a great middle ground. I want Makenna to grow up and see what it's like to take risks and to listen to Jesus and do what He says to do. I realize that by sheltering myself from life, I'm also sheltering her. I love the lessons He teaches.
SIDE NOTE: I also have a GREAT support system. My parents are always around when I need them to be and take such great and gentle care of her. It really does take a village to raise a child.They are my people and my go-to sitters and I love them dearly for all their help!

5) I can do ALL things through CHRIST who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
My belief in God and what He can do has grown at an incredible rate since starting this year. But it's been a growing season for how I view myself too. I've built a confidence that I never used to have. He's made me so bold and brave and it's a HUGE first for me. When everything first started with what God was laying on my heart, I had so many "but why me?" moments. I questioned His judgment! (Like..what?!!) I questioned His belief in me. "Lord, I appreciate it but what in heavens creation, makes you think I can do this. That I can lead people. That I can start a worship ministry from the ground up when I am still learning so much about You and about worship?! WHY ME!" But He's come through. Each and every week that I get up there and get to be used as a vessel for HIS church is such a blessing. I still can't believe I get to do it. I've never had to worry (ok I have maybe once or twice ;)) about what's happening next because He's already brought everything this far already. He's taught me to love the gift He's given me, even when others have something negative to say about it. He's taught me to LOVE, TRUST, and BELIEVE in myself, and more importantly, Him! To say that I've seen the fruit from that would be an understatement. We really can accomplish anything with His grace and strength. Two things of His I am so grateful for!


I could go on and on about how life has been the past 5 months but then a short blog post would turn into something like a research paper!
What was the point in writing all of this??
I can't express enough about how WORTH IT it is to follow Jesus, listen to Him and do what He tells you to do. I can't express enough about how wonderful He makes life and yes, there are hard seasons and while I'm soaring on eagles wings right now, I know hardship can still come at any minute. But I am SO DONE living my life constantly wondering when the other shoe will drop.
Life is so, so short and we have the options to make it so, so sweet. To use every day to take opportunities that He's placing in our hearts and in our hands and DO SOMETHING WITH IT!
Be encouraged, encourage somebody else. CHANGE THE WORLD!
I hope 2016 has been good, so far, for all of you and if it hasn't...it's not too late. It's never too late. Tell me what you'e learned so far this year! I'd love to hear!

Much love friends!

Modern Day Christianity

From the moment I started this blog to this very post that I am typing right now, I've prayed about each topic I blog about. I choose my words carefully, truly hoping to not offend or hurt anybody. I've never wanted to get into politics or any topic that was too heavy.
But today, with this post, there is something I want, scratch that, NEED to address.
And that is how much the culture, that todays Christians have created, deeply bothers me.
I'll start by saying that I, myself, am not perfect and if you have been keeping up with my blog faithfully, you'll know that I am the first to call myself out. I'm messy and every bit as much a sinner as Joe Schmoe over there. I promise.

2015 felt like a CRAZY year. So much happened across the globe including but not limited to, the entire ordeal with Planned Parenthood, legalization of gay marriage, racial hate crimes, terrorist attacks and so much more. Everyone had something to say about each of these events but the opinions that I noticed the most were those of Christians. (In reference to articles, posts, statuses, etc. on social media/news)
And man oh man was I disappointed.
I understand completely and totally get why there are so many people out there that are absolutely opposed and turned off by how we portray Jesus, turned off by the church and turned off by Christianity. Sometimes we really don't make it appealing!
We take modern day blessings and allow Satan to help us use them for evil.
How DARE we hide behind a computer and spew hate! How dare we hide behind our bibles and judge so loudly and so boldly? Who in the world do we think we are to judge so.darn.much??!
Because the Jesus that I follow, love and worship would never say or preach such ludicrous and hurtful things. He loves His children way more than that.

I also think about this culture that has been created. Where did this weird vibe and pressure come from that we need to dress, act and talk a certain way to be accepted by fellow Jesus followers? That we need to feel the need to constantly post pictures of our Starbucks sitting next to our Mac Book which is sitting next to our bible on a pallet made table and post it all over social media, to make sure others know where we stand? So that they know we are reading our bibles?
(Side note on this: I've totally been guilty of this and I am by no means talking about sharing scripture, etc. to spread His love and news. 2 TOTALLY different things.)
That we need to journal a certain way, give back a certain way and even worship a certain way?
I truly feel that Christians as a whole need to get back to basics. We need to rewind and rethink the reasons why we do church, community, have social media accounts, even why we get out of bed in the morning. Is everything we do, post, say, think, love, giving glory to our Savior? I mean come on, I absolutely struggle!! But it just seems this is really getting out of hand.

I'm reading through the book of Ephesians (it's so good!) with one of my small groups and today was chapter 4. Paul (the author of Ephesians) writes about, as followers of Jesus, we are called to walk in a certain manner of humility, gentleness, patience, tolerance and to do all these things out of, you guessed it,
LOVE!
You guys think about it, grace was given to each of us. Every single person that has and does and will exist on this earth is given this gift. Not just a special group of people. Not just the ones who don't do drugs or don't curse or don't drink; are straight, democratic, republican, black, white, purple, have tattoos or don't have tattoos.
Jesus wanted all of us to have this gift and guess what, we ALL fall short of it too. Even you.
Definitely me.
The Lord is so forgiving and kind and loving to us and that's exactly how He wants us to be with each other. We want to build the church up, not drive people away or prevent them from coming by the way we speak or act toward one another.

One final thought.
We are getting a new president soon and, so far, this political race has been nothing short of an embarrassing circus. I encourage each of us to pray over who will be the next leader of our country. If you don't pray, then please continue to watch and pay attention. But mostly, to my Christian readers, lets not let this be an opportunity for the enemy to take over our tongues. Lets think and choose over the words we have to say to each other about any of this. Lets make sure we are not tearing others down that don't view things the same way we do.
Remember what your mama said growing up? "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Oh friends, I speak from the heart and mean all this in the most effective and positive way. I am truly just a mom and wife who loves Jesus with all she has. I promise, on my part, that I am trying super hard this year to be the Christian I am sure God instructed me to be. I am clinging to His promises and His word because that has any instruction, on who to be like, that I'll ever need.

Happy Tuesday!
Much love.

A Year of Dedication

Hello friends!
Golly, it's been a few months hasn't it?
Life has been a whirlwind of so many great things happening in the lives of the Janson fam and I hate how this blog took a back seat!
I'm happy to share that 2016 is already off to a great start and today's post, to get back into the swing of blogging, is going to be all about my word for this year!
2015's word was "content" and I have to shamefully admit, I did an awful job.
But it's a new year and with that comes new, fresh beginnings!
My word for 2016 is

Dedicate! Websters definition of this word is: "a feeling of very strong support for or loyalty to someone or something : the quality or state of being dedicated to a person, group, cause, etc."
The word dedicate FEELS strong; when I say it and more specifically, when I think about how I'm going to put it into action this year!
You see, I've recently taken a next step. To me, next steps are GOOD and as a follower of Jesus, I feel they are absolutely necessary. But this next step has required me to step out of my comfort zone and into an area that makes me, excited, yes, but also very nervous. But I constantly pray and meditate over my reasons for moving foward with this next step. I think of the cause, the people, and the Savior that I have such a "strong support" for. That I long to be a woman in Christ who is looked as loyal, strong and, well, dedicated.
When moments in this next step get hard (which they will), I want to remember how this word has helped set my soul on fire. I want to cling to this word this year!
I am so, super stoked for everything I feel Jesus is going to do in my life, my marriage, my friendships and in my new church! (By the way, check out DECIDEDchurch here!)
I urge each of you to think about a word that you want to be the theme of your year. I'd love to hear it so that I can be encouraging and praying for you!
2016 will be all you make it be friends.
Excited to be back!
Much, much love :)

I Love My Church!

Howdy friends!

Hoping that this post is finding you all well :)

The Jansons have been struggling with the cooties for almost two weeks now. The weather being cold and rainy doesn't help, although I LOVE a good snuggle on the couch :) We could most definitely use some prayers regarding our health :)   

So today at church we celebrated something pretty cool!

We celebrated 6 years, as a campus, in Columbia!

Eric and I are celebrating that it's been 2 years since we first started attending NewSpring!

WOW!! Time really does fly. 

The absolute BEST part of celebrating 6 years as a campus is that, in that frame, we have seen 8,423 salvations in Columbia. 

OH MY WORD!!!!

The sweetest part about that is how Eric and I are a part of that 8,423.

It was two months after we started attending NewSpring that we attended Ownership class. We were so hooked on this church that were excited to dive right in. (And also get some free Chic-Fil-A for dinner, haha!)

Little did we know that night in November that we would ask Jesus into our lives, side my side. I remember that night like it was yesterday.

The impact that this church has had, not only on my life, but my husbands life and now my daughter's life is remarkable! 

So in honor of 6 years AND 8,423 salvations, this post is about the top 5 (out of many!) reasons why I LOVE MY CHURCH!

Here we go:

1) We believe growing people change:

I was a mess when I first started attending NewSpring. I liked drinking way too much, I cursed like a sailor and my overall life making decision skills were just not up to par. I was so apprehensive to start attending yet another church that would look down upon me because I didn't have my life together. NewSpring embraced it. I have leaders and friends from church that are constantly telling me it's ok to not be ok. They encourage me to grow in my walk with Jesus, in my marriage and as a mother .They remind that my story is far from being over and that growing people ALWAYS change! 

2) Community:

I was so very alone when I first started attending church, as was Eric. The "friends" we had in our life at the time were no good. After being saved and letting some of those friendships go, life became lonely. I am SO thankful for a church that believes we can't do life alone. I have met some of my very dear and close friends through serving, small group and just being an attendee. Life with community and others to do life with is so much sweeter.

3) I am taught how to follow Jesus step by step:

Overwhelmed couldn't even describe how I felt the day after I met Jesus. "Now what??" were two words that pounded in my head over and over. How thankful I am that I belong to a church that doesn't leave me in the dark but provides wisdom about where to do from here. I'm taught that there is ALWAYS a next step in our walk with Jesus and I am spiritually fed each and every sermon I listen to. 

4) KidSpring:

I am SO SO SO thankful for KidSpring. I am in love with the idea that my daughter has a safe place to go to where she can learn about Jesus on HER level. At first, I found it odd that kids, under a certain age, couldn't attend the regular service. But after learning what KidSpring is all about, I couldn't be happier that Makenna is being taught the gospel, even at 13 months old. I applaud every staff member and volunteer that puts in the time and energy to make KidSpring what it is :)

5) We believe FOUND people FIND people:

I LOVE what NewSpring is after; to reach 100,000 in the state of SC. To show others the good news that is Jesus Christ. I love, love, love seeing others asking Jesus into their lives. It reminds how I first felt when I was saved and how freeing it was. We, as a church, KNOW how miraculous, amazing, supernatural, loving and graceful our God is. We are on a mission to reach those far from God!

Jesus has and keeps using NewSpring to reach me in ways I never knew I could be reached. NewSpring has truly been used to save my life and to help us grow as a family. I love watching how Jesus changes our hearts. I love watching my husband, week after week, do what he does best in ministering to people. I love picking my daughter up from KidSpring, knowing that she is growing up in an environment where she can learn to follow Him. I absolutely love my church :)

Any questions about NewSpring? Want to attend or watch online?

Check out www.newspring.cc

Happy Sunday all!

Much love :) 

A Little Transparency

Hey friends!

It has been such a while since I've posted!

Life has been busy and filled with so much! We have settled into our new home more nicely than I could have ever planned. Our house has never felt more like, well, home! The two years it took to finally get in here has been more than worth it. I love making memories in this home. Good is SO good!

Also, our sweet baby, Makenna, turned one on August 14th and life with a toddler has been, well, exhausting but absolutely amazing :) She is learning and growing so much every day and I love being able to be her mommy. 

So, jumping right into it, I am going to be totally honest. 

I had an entirely different post planned, typed and ready to publish. Normally after I am done writing the draft for a post and have proofed it, I automatically publish it without any second thought of the topic. But this time was so different. My iPad kept messing up and it literally would not post. 

You bet your bottom dollar I took that as a sign from God to rethink what I wanted to post about and have be seen by the public eye.

My deleted post was all about disappointment and all the things that have been getting me down lately. After my iPad kept glitching, all it would let me do is go back to the draft so I reread the post and it really hit: "oh my gosh, how WHINY do I sound?! I can't post this! Is this really the Jesus I want people to see in me?!!"

It kept me up till after midnight, last night, thinking about how much I look over everything I've ever been blessed with. I've focused on the negative for so long that it's starting to become normal. When did I start developing this glass half empty attitude?? This is NOT me!

I jumped out of bed, lit a candle in the living room and wrote out, in my journal, all of the disappointments I was going to post about. Under each of them, I wrote the positives. 

I wrote how God can, is or will take these disappointments and turn them into something beautiful.

A few examples:

Disappointed by friends?

 Lately, I've been focusing on the friendships that have faded away, the feeling of being left out or forgotten. I needed to write this out in front of me and really pray over the many friends and family that Jesus has blessed me with. That He can always continue to work in my heart to be a good friend or daughter, wife or sister. I have many people in my life and in my little family's life that are so beautiful inside and out. I am more than thankful for these people. 

Disappointed by what's on the news?

Use that as fuel! Fuel to get out and be proactive. What I see on the news should give me, a follower of Jesus, more incentive to get out and spread the Good News. To lead others from death to life. Instead of filling my mind and heart up with fear because of what is happening in this world, I need to take a moment, look up and thank Jesus for the life He has given me. How blessed I am to live so free and GOOD! To have a hot shower and dinner every.single.day. Ok, so the dog may pee on the floor or the guy in traffic who cut me off, gave me the finger. Things could be SO MUCH WORSE.

Lastly..

These past few months (ok, maybe more than a few) I have been thinking of my old life back in NY. This was a place I was born and raised in for almost 20 years. I up and left, never looking back and have only returned 3 times since 2009. This was one of the last disappointments I wrote about last night.

I miss it. I really do! 

I watch shows or movies based out of NYC and my heart literally hurts. I think of how life would've been if we had moved us to NY. What would my marriage, with Eric, be like? Would Makenna even be here with us? It even hurts my heart now to write about it.

But I thought about our life here in South Carolina. I think about how much Eric and I have grown up here. 

I think about NewSpring.

How ABSOLUTELY grateful am I for this church?! 

What would life have been life if we moved to NY, never have attending NewSpring??

Jesus has used this church over and over and over and over (you get the point) to bring us closer to Him. Goodness, it's where Eric and I were both saved, almost TWO years ago, side by side!

I think of KidSpring and how my daughter goes to a safe environment each week and learns about Jesus on her level. Where volunteers take time to nurture and pray over her every week. 

Would we have found that in NY?

My roots are there; memories that will never be forgotten and people who may have only been in my life for a season, but have made a difference. 

But we are meant to be here, in South Carolina. This is where Jesus needs us to be. This is where He, currently, has us living out His plan. Meditating on that alone overwhelms my heart with joy. 

I absolutely love where God has my little family right now. I love where He has me.

I love looking back at harder times and what I learned from that situation. I love looking at a list of "disappointments" and how He can point out the good that can be found in everything.  

Doesn't mean more disappointments won't arrive at my door. The point isn't that, being a follower of Jesus means hard times won't come..it means when they do come, I can handle them with His strength, grace and love!

The best is yet to come my friends..the best is yet to come :) 

MUCH love! 

All I need is You

How can I truely be happy?

Will a new car make me happy?
Well, yes.

Will buying a home make me happy?
Of course!

Will having more money make me happy?
Yes it would!

Honesty time..
I have been so caught up in my "wants" lately. Wanting a home, more money, a newer car, nicer clothes, a smaller waistline, etc.
My want and to do list are growing bigger as my time and relationship with Jesus is growing smaller.

Last night at my small group we talked about what our top 3 priorities were. I listed mine as:
1) Family
2) New house
3) Jesus

WHOA! After I read my priorities out loud, in my head I questioned myself why I put our new home (and even family) before Jesus. Sure, I said Him first to my small group ladies but on my piece of paper I wrote Him third.
I've been wanting this home for so long that I've forgotten where my true happiness lies...and it's not in material things. Even a beautiful home.
I've been so focused on my marriage, Makenna and family (which there is nothing wrong with at all) but have completely forgotten to spend and set aside time for the One who is my rock. My foundation!
I'm so worried about checking social media, my email and worrying about my to do's when I first wake up that I haven't started to my day with Jesus and in prayer in a long time.
No wonder I'm so on edge all the time!!
I've had all these "things" distracting me that have completely made me lose focus on spending time with God-my true happiness! It's so easy to fall into this trap but can be harder to get out.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
-Romans 15:13

I want to Jesus to be the ONLY thing that can complete me and the only thing that can truely fill me with peace and joy! Everything else should just be an added blessing and gift from Him, which they are!
It's a decision and choice that I need to make every single day that Jesus is going to be at the very, very top of my priority list! He's worth that much (and more)!!!
Spending more time in His word and working to form even more of a deep relationship Him is a great place to start :)
I am so thankful to have a God that never stops chasing me. He is the only one who will ever be able to give me an endless supply of love and grace.

Some food for thought! Happy Wednesday :)

4 things in 4 years

Marriage has taught me a lot.
Whether I've liked it or not, marriage has changed me.
I mean, duh!
That's usually what's expected when two people makes vows for forever.
And in the case of my marriage, two more opposite people couldn't have been paired together.
Eric and I have been married for almost 4 years. (It'll be 4 years next month!!!)
Life with him as my partner has been frustrating. annoying, humbling and nothing short of absolutely, positively amazing!
So in an early honor of almost 4 years with the love of my life, here are the 4 major things (in no specific order and trust me there's more than 4) that marriage has taught me.

1) Jesus really DOES need to be in the center
SERIOUSLY! Ok so some kind of order..but this is the most important! Eric and I have seen what marriage is like without Him as the center (and w/out Him in general) more than we have seen our marriage with Him as the center and let me tell you..Jesus being at the center of our marriage makes it better than I could have imagined. The Lord uses Eric as a vessel to reach me every.single.day. I love watching us grow closer in this way!

2) Intimacy is key
Kids, cover your ears and look away. Haha, not but really this is SO true. And I have no shame in talking about something so natural! This is another part of our marriage where we've seen opposite sides of the spectrum. Meaning: there have been dry spells and there have been not. God created sex for man and wife to really enjoy and spend a intimate, special time with one another. Lack of this can and has affected us. This aspect of our relationship has been pushed way up to the top of the priority list.

3) Communication is more than important
It's what can make or break a marriage! Without communication, what is there? Eric and I learned even before we married of how much talking to one another is SO important! It was a few weeks before we were married; Eric and I were in a huge argument and it just happened to be while my parents were visiting. They caught on fast and literally made us sit down, face each other, and talk. We haven't been able to hush up since then, haha!

4) Surrounding yourself with positive people (and couples) DOES matter
Eric and I don't come from great friendships when we first got together and when we were first married. It wasn't until we became parents-to-be that we really started to let go of the negative energy that seemed latched onto us and our marriage. Being around marriages and relationships that encourage us (and that we see encourage each other) is super important and something we had to learn the hard way. For me personally, it's hard to be around other women that talk nothing but negatively about their husbands. It had a big affect on me for a while!



I can think of SO many things that marriage has taught me in almost 4 years. I've learned how Eric needs to be loved and vice versa. When I say Eric is my best friend, I mean Eric is my BEST friend. He's the one person I can tell every single thing there is about me or something that's going on. My love for him grows every day and I can't wait to see what the next 4, or 40 years brings us!
Marriage is amazing and I am so thankful for how it's developing me as a person.



Anything to add? Let's chat: gfmamaj@gmail.com :)
Much looooove!

                                         

Hey Lonely Mama

Hey friends!
So there is something that has been on my heart that I would love to get out there.

Motherhood has been so fantastic.
So beautiful, so humbling, so sweet and
so lonely.
Weird describing word huh?

Now I love being a stay-at-home mama.
I am so unbelievably blessed to have a husband that works so hard during the week so that he's able to provide for his family. I am so proud of him and thankful that I am blessed to stay home and raise Makenna. I am also blessed to have my parents so close to me to help out with Makenna when I need a second to myself.
But there's something that stay-at-home mama's don't want to talk about or don't want to admit in fear of seeming ungrateful...it's this sense of crushing loneliness that comes over our lives like a wave.
I've realized that motherhood can be so lonely.

I had so many plans for Makenna and I before she was born. We would grow up as close as my mom and I did, have long & deep conversations about faith and Jesus (we still have a little bit to go with that), we would experience so many firsts together and... we would make a ton of mommy and baby friends. 
I had pictured in my head of all the fun things I wanted to do with my future mommy friends: play dates all the time, library trips, day trips, duo family getaways.. I was certain going into motherhood that it would be a time in my life where I would make friends that I would consider soul sisters! I had always dreamed of having friends like that.
But now? Now that Makenna is almost 11 months old, I look around when I'm at the mall, the park or even at my church and I get sad (even a little jealous) at the close knit groups of parents that there are. Talking and laughing with each other, their kids playing around like they are siblings.

This is not me saying I have no friends, because I do! But life is busy and we all have different schedules. There are just not enough hours in the day sometimes for play dates, or wine whining to each other. Money can be tight for a lot of us to take that duo family vaca I long for. I am so grateful for the handful of mama (and non mama) friends I can count on but sometimes it's just not enough; I want more.
Selfish?
Sure!
Honest?
Brutally.
On a side note, to have great friends, you must be a great friend and I've been asking Jesus to help my heart understand and act out on this.

I'm sure this is just a funk or a phase; something I'm bound to move past.
I am trying to cherish this time as much as I humanly can. This time where Makenna constantly needs me, my attention and my love because I will never have these moments with her again.
But..
If you're a lonely mama reading this, just know you're not alone and it's OK to feel this way.
This can just be a difficult time in our life to make new friends and sometimes keep them. Sometimes I feel like making new friends is harder than dating!!
Feeling lonely in a crowded room is not uncommon and I understand it.
I hope and pray by reading this post you know that there is somebody else out there feeling the same way you do and know, this too, shall pass.

So much to you all <3

Love Never Fails

Hey friends.

I had been staring at this blank space for almost 20 minutes and I am still at a loss as to how to start this post.

Then I thought of a question that was asked of me at church yesterday, when the topic of all that has happened in this country the past week and a half came up; "Amanda, what do you think?"

Wow.

What DO I think?

I've been blown away as to all that has gone on in American in almost two weeks.

It's overwhelming to see it all over the news and social media; just seeing opinion after opinion, hate followed by more hate and country on edge with major tension in the air.

So what do think??

I think I'm sad.

I'm sad with how we treat each other, I'm sad with how much hate we show each other. This is not the world I ever imagined my children growing up in. 

After reading A LOT of blog posts (specifically Christian) about the Supreme Court's decision regarding gay marriages, I promised myself to not post another post about "now we just have to show love."
Because it's not that easy to feel it, as it is to say it.

Because some disagree.

Some don't approve and some are saddened by this decision because of what THEY believe. 

And you know what?

That's OK!

Yes I said it. It's completely ok to disagree with someone...

...and still NOT show hate.

It's ok to debate with somebody and still NOT show hate. Because the moment we (I'm talking to you, my fellow Christians) start to show the opposite of what Jesus really looks like, we lose the magnitude of our cause and beliefs.

Yes I know what the bible says about homosexuality...

but I also know what it says about judgement and love.

"Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen."

*1 John 4:20

Hey guys..it's right there! ^^ Right there in the book we so love, in the book we so believe in and in the book that we use WAY TOO OFTEN to hide behind and spew our own hate.

So yes, this is another post about love because that is what we are called to do by the One who loved us first. He had no exceptions and neither should we. 

It's hard. I'm not kidding. When I first heard the news of the shooting in Charleston, I felt anger. When I saw others fighting over the Confederate flag, I felt anger. And when the Supreme Court announced their decision to legalize gay marriage, I felt anger. BUT I, almost, immediately dropped to my knees (literally, I did!) and asked Jesus for an immediate change of heart; to let this be my chance to showcase Him through me. And, oh my, has He delivered on that request. 

I have so many opinions about a lot that goes on in this country.

And I completely believe that it is totally ok to express those opinions in a manner that shows respect and love because at the end of the day we need to all remember we are ALL children of God, we ALL are underserving of grace but it's in the end that His grace that unites us. (Thanks for the thought Pastor P!!)

You sin. I sin. We all sin. To Jesus, NO sin is greater than the other. Sin is sin and regardless of what it is we do to sin, Jesus STILL loves us! ALL of us! 

Christians, this is our chance, our opportunity to show love that Jesus places in all of us regardless if we agree with somebody decisions or lifestyle. 

Do I sound like a broken record?

Good, because I want it to sink in. Because the hate HAS TO STOP! We take complete advantage of each other and the fact that we live in the greatest country on earth! 

I challenge you all to go outside your comfort zone this week. Do something nice for someone that you normally wouldn't do. Show love to someone you normally wouldn't show love to. Ask Jesus to change the direction of your heart from hate and judgement to love! 

Love WILL always overcome because Christ will always overcome! 

Any questions, comments, or just want to chat?

gfmamaj@gmail.com :)

Much, much love to each of you!